Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML
Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, while walking to class enjoying the warmer weather, a bee flew down my shirt. I'm allergic to bees so I freaked out and started ripping my clothes off. By the time I was done, I was half naked and there was no bee in sight. Turns out, it was the string on my jacket hood. FML
Today, I was taking a break in my work truck when I saw a huge swarm of bees flying my way. I have a hand crank window so I started cranking it up as fast as I could and the knob snapped off before it closed and I got stung by the whole swarm before I could get out. FML
Today, I found out I was allergic to bees, the hard way, at my wedding. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, my worst fears were realized as an insect pinged off the back of my mouth while I was singing along to the radio on my motorcycle. FML
Today, I accidentally stepped on a dead bee. The stinger was still intact. How do I know? It stung my foot. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, I was riding a longboard down a hill and I fell off. I was all scraped up so I made sure to clean my wounds and put bandages on them. Turns out I'm allergic to the glue on the bandages and I have itchy hives all over and around my open wounds. FML
Today, while riding a roller coaster, I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough, it somehow managed to survive and fall down my shirt. It crawled around and stung me a few times before the ride ended. FML
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Top comments
Sushimomo 0
Boots, Gloves, Jacket, and Helmet. Well, I guess you should have worn pants.
mitchem 3
ever see invader zim? DEATH BEE!!!!
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Comments (77)
ChrisLTC 3
Un-BEE-lievably bad luck for you!
abbi96x 0
Hilarious.
bitchslapped22 14
did you die?
mintcar 10
Wow, tell me you're kidding. Please.
ChrisLTC 3
Have you never seen the movie "Ghost"? If a ghost can take over a body to get it on with his girl then I'm sure one could take over a body to write an FML!
bitchslapped22 14
No, 14, I'm not kidding. I'm seriously asking if he wrote this FML as a corpse.
melimeli628 10
thank you!!! ^^^
mea_iloveskiing 26
At least there weren't two bees :)
cheex87 0
omg something similar happened to me once before, but instead of a bee it was a spider that crawled into my helmet.
meezydagreat 0
your hot
kaceemae 7
if you know you are allergic to bees, didn't you have an epi pen with you?
sgtrobswifey 0
all you motorcycle haters are just jealous.. quit hatin just bc y'all are to much of a ****** to ride!
IgnorantAmerican 0
exactly.
DocBastard 40
Yes, that's why I hate motorcycles. You figured it out. It has nothing to do with the fact that I'm a trauma surgeon and see motorcycle accident victims regularly and have to pronounce them dead because their vehicle have no safety measures. But no, I'm sure you're right.
sgtrobswifey 0
All do respect, I'm a traffic homicide officer.. doesn't mean I'm going to put myself in a bubble and not do things I enjoy. IE ride motorcycles. To each his/ her own!
IgnorantAmerican 0
You can still die pretty easily in a car crash on the highway. Im sure you see car accident victims regularly too.
FMLoverAgain 7
Doc, he doesn't know people with vaginas enjoy the orgasms they get from the vibrations of the motorcycle engine.
DocBastard 40
Ignorant - yes I see many more car accident victims than motorcycle accident victims, but that's because there are lots more cars on the road. A motorcyclist in an accident is 30 times more likely to die than a car driver. *30 times* I shouldn't hate motorcycles so much - they definitely keep me in business.
TheNewGuy03 29
hey doc -- i'm no motorcyclist, nor some supreme defender of those who choose to be. but i will say that people do things in life that put them at risk, such as skydiving and mountain climbing. the statistic schwartz may not be as strong with the latter two, but nevertheless, it falls into the same category. generally speaking, those who choose to ride cycles know the risks of doing so -- it's fairly obvious why they are more susceptible to injury or death. those who don't are just retarded and shouldn't be riding anything more than a tricycle. don't be so condescending. but -- carry on; you're a funny guy. |the kid|
DocBastard 40
Kid, I appreciate what you're saying, and I know that most riders know the risks. But you have to remember that I'm the one who has to take care of these people when the accidents happen, so my viewpoint is significantly skewed.
TheNewGuy03 29
yep, few people are actually on both ends of the spectrum when it comes to things such as accidents (or any medical emergency, for that matter). |the kid|
skate4life753 0
Did you died?
dcshoejake 0
Your parents must be so proud of you..
tbomb9909 0
I've done the exact same thing ha. it sucks.
AttackTabathaAtt 0
Fml for the bee. Today, I was harmlessly helping the environment going flower to flower when I got jammed into some hole and lost my stinger. FML.
TillyTime 4
Isn't it funny when the comments are funnier than the FML.