Today, I was pulling out of my driveway and was watching out for the flowers I'd just planted. I moved my head to look out of my window to avoid them, not realizing my window was up. I then hit my head, broke my nose and drove all over the flowers. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML
Today, I parked, then opened my car door to get out, and somehow managed to practically knock myself out by banging my head on the frame, then on the car door that had slammed back into my forehead as I was still reeling from hitting the roof. A guy walking by asked if I was okay while trying not to laugh. FML
Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML
Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML
Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML
Today, I was practicing my golf swing on my front lawn. I took a swing and on the backstroke the golf club slipped out of my hands. Next thing I know, it hits a neighbor's window, shatters it, and goes right into their living room. FML
Today, I had an unexpected sneezing fit and drove my car through 2 trees and a fence. FML
Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML
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Top comments
Some_guy 6
Today, I was well-rooted in the soil. I was soaking up some rays and generally enjoying being a flower, when some jackass backed over me with their car. FML.
WhyMe1_2_3 0
on the bright side, if your windows were/are clean enough to be mistaken for being down, your doing a kickass job at cleaning :D
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Comments (85)
Embarassment 0
You must have rushed your head at the window in order to break your nose. Way to go.
maddiepaddy1 0
ROFLROFLROFL #2
_20jre 0
lmao lma lmao epic fail
Dylan94_fml 8
people seriously have to stop using the phrase 'proceeded to' on this.
What_Willis_is_t 1
OMG A FLOWER!! *Rushes to look out window* BAM
kev08326 1
*I then hit my head, BROKE my nose, and DROVE over the flowers* your grammar equals that of a first grader.
princesskatiemae 0
Marry me.
natty6 0
love the hate comments guys !
princesskatiemae 0
Today, I learned how to be consistent when using tenses.
hopehatchet 3
Break and drive should've been used in past tence. Sorry it was buggin me so I had to say something.
SiriusOrionBlack 20
wow, great grammar, dumbass. when I first read this I thought maybe you were foreign, but the fact that you're American makes me lose any hope I had left for the future of this country.