Today, I was pulling out of my driveway and was watching out for the flowers I'd just planted. I moved my head to look out of my window to avoid them, not realizing my window was up. I then hit my head, broke my nose and drove all over the flowers. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML
Today, I parked, then opened my car door to get out, and somehow managed to practically knock myself out by banging my head on the frame, then on the car door that had slammed back into my forehead as I was still reeling from hitting the roof. A guy walking by asked if I was okay while trying not to laugh. FML
Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML
Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML
Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML
Today, I was practicing my golf swing on my front lawn. I took a swing and on the backstroke the golf club slipped out of my hands. Next thing I know, it hits a neighbor's window, shatters it, and goes right into their living room. FML
Today, I had an unexpected sneezing fit and drove my car through 2 trees and a fence. FML
Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML
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Top comments
Some_guy 6
Today, I was well-rooted in the soil. I was soaking up some rays and generally enjoying being a flower, when some jackass backed over me with their car. FML.
WhyMe1_2_3 0
on the bright side, if your windows were/are clean enough to be mistaken for being down, your doing a kickass job at cleaning :D
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Comments (85)
shaPOW 0
how on earth do you hit your head hard enough to break your nose just from moving a few inches into a closed window?
prettyxdemented 0
I call fake on this... you'd have to SMASH your head into that window pretty ******* hard for the impact to break your nose. You might have hit your head on the window and driven over the flowers as a result, but broke your nose too? Doubtful. Either way, YDI.
lolwut_fail 0
Does nobody else see the Sea Cucumber rant...or are we all just pretending it doesn't exist?
musu_fml 0
Thinking about it, I don't think the nose break is too far-fetched; if the OP was moving their head quickly for a quick glance outside, then there's every chance that they were moving with more force than you might realise. Plus, they would have been turning their head, so I expect they hit the glass with the side of their nose as they turned into it, applying the force on the nose sideways. I suspect it'd take a lot less force to break it this way than it would with blunt force to the front.
olschool 0
What a load of crap....And seriously what the %*#$ is with everyone saying "i then proceeded".....IT DOESNT MAKE IT FUNNIER THAT WAY...
Procrastigurl 0
How fast was your head moving? I can't imagine being able to break my nose by banging into the window.
rukusrazor 0
I think bipolarchipmunk is having an off-day. /off their meds.
gingerbread_fml 0
i ******* love bipolarchipmunk. btw - "I then proceeded to hit my head, break my nose, and drive all over the flowers." DON'T FORGET YOUR COMMAS!
FML2x 0
awwww lol that sucks so badd! but dont worry, your not alone. ive dun that while driving lol
ItsJustMe1616 26
This response is so horrible in so many ways. You're just plain stupid, aren't you?
Pilotgeek 0
Wow, did you have a rocket propelling your head? I had a broken garage door spring with a chunk of aluminum unload and hit me square in the nose and I was fine. No way you broke your nose.