Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got fired from my childcare job of five years because the other staff weren't as popular with the kids, so they accused me of being "creepy" because the kids all wanted to play a game with me instead of them. FML
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, I went to babysit. I was told the parents would be gone when I arrived. I went and started playing with the kids. All of a sudden I heard a scream. I opened the parents' door with a knife in hand to find them having sex. I got paid so adults could get laid. While I was there. 6 ft. away. FML
Today, the police turned up. It turns out the girl I slept with two nights ago was burgled. She told my great aunt, who happens to live next door to her. They then told my grandparents, who then told my mum. I'm now a suspect. FML
Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML
Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML
Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
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Top comments
whiskeydick 0
Don't just threaten to sue; sue their asses off. I'm going through something similar, except I can't take any legal action against the bitch. So yeah, sue them for defamation of character. Or at least slash their tires, dude.
Pop_and_Pixels 0
I agree on suing. You have grounds to sue for slander.
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Comments (51)
lorawr 0
you should sue them for every ******* penny, their neighbours are bang out of order. hope everything gets sorted and your name gets cleared.
DomyDamsy 0
sue sue sue those jerks send them up the streem painfully painfully painfully painfully, there cash is but a dream
fuckducks 0
sue them and if you don't win put a bomb under their car so when they drive home from court they will all die. JK JK don't do that..... do it
chaos753159 4
that was a great job choice u shud think about arbys
fluteperson 0
that is sad if the niehbors actually belived the little kid you should know when a kid is jokeing it is in their voice and attlidude ya i would sue of make them send a apology statemant
D4ni3l96 5
I hope everything works out Jack. I'd hate to be an outcast for something I didn't actually do. Good luck.
ilaaFML 0
Aweh, here I was laughing at all these FML's then I read yours and was like:'( Hope things get better. :(
imway2sexy4u 0
sry op but thats hilarious xD
El_patron 0
that ******* sucks, I smell lawsuit
shutupK 0
hahaha me too