Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was skating with my friends when I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was, "Look out!" I now have twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML
Today, I went skating at the local rink. I had a really hard time balancing and was falling all over the place. After everyone had a good laugh, someone finally decided to tell me that one of my blade covers was still on, thanks. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stitches. FML
Today, it snowed. So, a guy I like and I decided to go sledding. I really wanted to impress him by going down the hill and casually slowing down at the bottom right at his feet. Instead, I crashed into him and broke his ankle. FML
Today, I was helping my boyfriend in the garden. When I wanted to break a piece of wood, I lost my balance. Head first against a stone. Result: five stitches in my upper lip, and a loose tooth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
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Top comments
mack1688 0
as an EX figure skater. why the hell was his face that close to your blade.
memo619 0
I'm pretty sure you impressed him he never saw it coming
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Comments (131)
TequilaLullaby 0
way to make a first impression! :)
instnt1nfction 17
cool your a lesbian
salsalover_12 5
DOES ANYONE READ THE FML BIBLE!!! D: number 6 of the ten commandments "thou shalt not try to impresseth anyone for if thou does he shall be cursed and make a fool of himself as a result"
stevenmx86 8
If he was going to like you, he's not going to change his mind because you hurt him.. Unless he's a whiny wuss like a lot of men these days...
Stupidpeopleanno 5
At least he knows you're a really good skater.
autumn88_fml_fml 0
You're smooth OP lol. Poor guys.
ohthebloodygore 16
47, thank you for assuming, but no. I'm not a lesbian. Nor am I bisexual.
Stupidpeopleanno 5
Perdix and #22, Blades of Glory FTW.
Skates4gold 0
As a figure skater myelf, what kind of a jump were you doing near his face? Was he lying on the ground when you did this jump? Anyone who has any figure skating knowledge must know there's something odd about this..
rique2008 10
excactly what i was thinking , i mean what jump has your foot out and near someones face? a spin i would find easy to see this happening to (camel) but still a jump?
ohSNAPyall 27
Very observant 40