Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was skating with my friends when I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was, "Look out!" I now have twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML
Today, I went skating at the local rink. I had a really hard time balancing and was falling all over the place. After everyone had a good laugh, someone finally decided to tell me that one of my blade covers was still on, thanks. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stitches. FML
Today, it snowed. So, a guy I like and I decided to go sledding. I really wanted to impress him by going down the hill and casually slowing down at the bottom right at his feet. Instead, I crashed into him and broke his ankle. FML
Today, I was helping my boyfriend in the garden. When I wanted to break a piece of wood, I lost my balance. Head first against a stone. Result: five stitches in my upper lip, and a loose tooth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
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Top comments
mack1688 0
as an EX figure skater. why the hell was his face that close to your blade.
memo619 0
I'm pretty sure you impressed him he never saw it coming
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Comments (131)
ohSNAPyall 27
I don't think that was a stretch to assume, considering you said your ex is female. :P
ohSNAPyall 27
If you're that good at skating, you should know basic safety precautions. YDI
grdianknight 0
come on now, if fml has taught us anything, it's trying to impress someone never works, lol
doubleshot555 0
Gay=Manboob action=EWWW
kingtz 6
That makes no sense! You're a girl, your ex is a "she". How are you not a lesbian or bisexual?
1_Classy_Hobo 0
holy ****. that must have sucked. besides why would you impress a guy with skating? that isn't exactly the greatest thing to them
bodnarfresh 0
He's probably psyched about his badass scar. Don't worry about it, Pansy-Poo.
OCDC 9
Next time you try the Iron Lotus, let him do the spinning and kicking.
andrew145 3
hahahaha
JustinThunder 8
She used to be a lesbian/bisexual. She never indicated that she never was one.
Hockeyboy4280 18
And what did Jimmy Macelroy's coach say about the Iron Lotus?! ONLY 2 MEN CAN DO IT! But seriously, fyl OP.