Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was skating with my friends when I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was, "Look out!" I now have twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML
Today, I went skating at the local rink. I had a really hard time balancing and was falling all over the place. After everyone had a good laugh, someone finally decided to tell me that one of my blade covers was still on, thanks. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stitches. FML
Today, it snowed. So, a guy I like and I decided to go sledding. I really wanted to impress him by going down the hill and casually slowing down at the bottom right at his feet. Instead, I crashed into him and broke his ankle. FML
Today, I was helping my boyfriend in the garden. When I wanted to break a piece of wood, I lost my balance. Head first against a stone. Result: five stitches in my upper lip, and a loose tooth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
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Top comments
mack1688 0
as an EX figure skater. why the hell was his face that close to your blade.
memo619 0
I'm pretty sure you impressed him he never saw it coming
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Comments (131)
shortypenguin 0
11 is right, you stupid idiot, cut lips are just stitched. You deserved what was coming! I hope he sues you.
DocBastard 40
Aaaaaaaand scene! Great job, shortpenguin. You're playing the part of Stereotypical Litigious American perfectly! Perfectly, I say! Now go get a half-caf soy mocha latte and take 5. Great job. You're beautiful. I mean that.
CaptainPickles72 18
Purely amazing reply #36.
perdix 31
Now that you can't kiss him, you need to dump him and find someone else. He shouldn't have held his face so close to your Blades of Glory.
ohthebloodygore 16
It depends on the sort of person he is. I ran over my ex's foot during our first date with my motorcycle. I had to take her to the hospital. There was a second date because she knew I didn't intend to do it.
Gabbymcbride 2
Mkay. the words "impress him/her" are just as bad as "trying to be cool". Immediate YDI.
TheJtSwift 0
Ha ha! You suck!
hoodsie 0
Are we feeling a bit childish today? Grow up.
ConfusionsLoveMe 0
^ Is there a stick up your butt?
haha1494 0
just his boyfriends penis!
malisa916 7
At least you only cut his lip open rather than chopping his head off while attempting the "iron lotus." I give you kudos for that.
Caffeine_Addict 2
Blades of Glory WIN.
Vash_41288 10
"were going to perform to one song and one song only..."
HesJustTheBest 0
Well, ain't no french kissing for him for a while, however you could always give him an Australian kiss to tell him your really sorry.
benjimm1 0
u cudve cut his throat, he got lucky that he got cut in his lip and not somewhere permanently damaging or fatal
DocBastard 40
May I ask why in the name of Jimmy Walker you spelled out "permanently damaging" but couldn't spell out "you" or "could've"?
tona01 16
maybe he has a brain disease that has those exact syntoms ok i think i have the same disease
sallen0046 4
Why would you ever do a jump with anyone that close to you? YDI for not paying attention, just like YDI for thinking something like this would ever impress a man in the first place.
milkndstufff 7
skate fail.
milkndstufff 7
skate n date fail
Kallik 0
win!! ^