Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML
Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad completely naked. When I expressed my displeasure, he told me to knock next time. I'd agree with him, if he hadn't been standing in the middle of the hallway in our very open living room. FML
Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML
Today, I spilled vanilla yogurt on my pants while eating breakfast, but I forgot to clean it up. It left a very conspicuous white stain on my pants, that was there the entire day. I only noticed it when I looked in the mirror after getting home. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
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Top comments
alpuppy 0
It could've been worse, you could have been wiped it off with your finger and put it in your mouth as he walked in.
Haelous 0
In the future, do not have your schwarz out while eating yogurt.
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Comments (85)
Blizztastic21 17
Some very nice artistic abilities indeed!
kewpiesuicide 29
Cute characters!
Vladash 14
Why would u be naked anyway..?
sexaybitch 14
You don't? You have problems!
Tesla_Shelley 4
At least he apologized
Pippin43 16
These kinds of stories and jokes are relatively common (with a white liquid being mistaken for semen) but here's the thing: milk, yogurt, melted ice cream, etc., all look COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from semen. They're only the same-ish color.