Today, my son tripped into a door and slammed it shut. I'd been holding onto the door frame, leaning around to talk to a neighbour, so of course it slammed my fingers. It must be a really sharp door, because I just woke from the surgery to reattach my three amputated fingers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, I noticed that the injury on my hand from three weeks ago no longer hurt. A while later, I accidentally slammed that same hand in a door. FML
Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML
Today, I cut my finger trying to open a door. Yes, I am just as confused as you are. FML
Today, I was on autopilot, walking out of the bathroom, and separated my pinky toe from the rest of my toes over the door frame. I dropped to the ground in pain, and my toe and half my foot still hurts hours later. FML
Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML
Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
Today, I went to shut the door and ended up banging my toe on my guitar stand; then, as I was getting a snack out of a closet, I banged my toe again on the drawer and now I can't walk. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
It's not sharp to be idly leaning on a finger guillotine while chatting obliviously.
Marcella1016 32
Holy shit you need to have the docs run more tests! It sounds like your fourth finger may be like Bruce Willis from...Unbreakable.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
It's not sharp to be idly leaning on a finger guillotine while chatting obliviously.
Marcella1016 32
Holy shit you need to have the docs run more tests! It sounds like your fourth finger may be like Bruce Willis from...Unbreakable.