Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because my boyfriend was too busy making cock puppets in the shower to get ready to go. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend stood me up. At dinner with his parents. FML
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML
Today, me, my boyfriend and his family stayed at an AirBnB while on a trip. While I was doing my makeup, my boyfriend told me he was going to take a shower. A few minutes later, I went in the bathroom to shave my legs thinking my boyfriend was in there, but his dad was in the shower, scrubbing his ass. FML
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to dinner to meet my parents. He agreed to be on his best behavior, but when my mom told us about some shady stuff going on at her job, he replied that it sounded "fishier than Justin Bieber's cunt." We were quickly kicked out. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had our parents over to our new apartment for the first time. We spent hours cleaning, cooking, and making sure everything was "parent-appropriate." Apparently we didn't notice the BDSM catalog in the pile on our coffee table... but his mom sure did. FML
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Top comments
PensiveCub 0
ummmm what the **** are coxj puppets? and in the shower? I'm lost.
PsychoMerk 0
haha, anal and **** in the same sentence... might as well write a steamy story ;)
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Comments (133)
maskedman 9
I think a **** puppet is when you press on the head of your penis to make the slit look like a mouth. I can make mine talk really fast and if I get really happy he vomits.
purplemnm 9
omg xD I'm gonna die laughing at this
mcgugs 0
lol WIN!
DGross 8
this comment is pure win ^^^
LauraTheKiwi 0
ahahahahaah XD
ohmygeezz 0
That is hilarious definitely NOT an FML. I'm impressed that he can make a **** puppet! How does that even work?!
Nic_hole 0
omg number 37 lmao
VickToreEeyah 0
what the **** is a **** pocket?? sounds perverted if you ask me(:
bidoof_fml 0
Prude
ohmygeezz 0
snickerdoodles "making" grammatical error haha
ImaginaryFoe 1
Ha! So glad I'm not the only one!
iamaphoenix 0
a female poster with the name tacolove, and a 69 at the end? definitely a guy's username. fake.
lem0n_fml 0
I like to overanalyze everything too. Who the **** cares if it's real or not?
trevishere 7
or bi?
gabrielbaby 9
Or a female really likes tacos and has a 69 as a sexual reference. I know many females who would and do this. Or it could be a teenage girl who has this, because a lot of teenage girls nowadays act like this
lky830 0
WHAT THE **** IS A **** PUPPET?!?!
HoesInaBox 0
IT'S WHEN YOU MAKE COOL LOOKING SHADOWS WITH YOUR PEEPEE! AHH MAKE THE YELLING STOP. seriously stfu :]
jollykilla704 0
@44 "a" was the error
perdix 31
Let's hope your parents' anuses don't retain your boyfriend's ****, thus depriving you of your access to it, and the indubitably delightful puppet shows he produces.