Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. I have been getting explicit texts and phone calls so I just joking said to my friend, "I think someone wrote my number on a bathroom stall." At which point he said, "Sorry, I didn't think people really called those numbers." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML
Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML
Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML
Today, a cute guy came up to me and asked for my phone number. I was super excited and began to write it down when he said, "It doesn't have to be your real number, I'm not gonna call anyway." I still gave him my real number. FML
Today, the person I've been sharing my most intimate feelings with finally got bored and let me know I've been texting the wrong number for weeks. FML
Today, I realised that somewhere out there someone has written my phone number on a pub bathroom wall, because now every couple of days or weeks I get random calls from heavy breathing pervs, or from guys wanting to know if I’m available, and how much I charge. FML
Today, I texted sweet nothings to a phone number written on the side of my tumble dryer, thinking my crush had left it there, all cute like. Turns out the phone number belongs to my landlord’s maintenance guy, who was not at all flattered by my midnight serenade. FML
Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML
Today, I gave my phone number to a guy at the movie theatre. I was excited to receive a text a few minutes later, sure enough when I unlocked my phone I had received a message from an unknown number. It was his girlfriend. FML
Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML
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Top comments
theluckygirl28 8
lmao thats madd funny!! i had that with a craigslist posting.... :/ oh well, at least you have a chance to make new friends (:
geesquared 0
put HIS number all over popular youtube videos... ouch
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Comments (95)
triplethreat13 0
That's hilarious! I don't think people usually call those numbers anyway. But a friend of mine drove by a trailer with a "for sale" sign on it and he prank-called the number. So you never know.
cheetahboo2010 5
I put an enemy of mine's phone number on a bathroom stall in the public park once. She got a bunch of phone calls :) I loved it lol.
Shinzura 0
I don't get how this is an FML...
john_bell 0
I read a joke ages ago that said that. Starchild21 is a PHONEY, everyone thought it was original and didn't know about the PHONEY, see I'm original no one else has called anyone a PHONEY repeatedly. Especially a fat guy. PHONEY
jonny1878 0
not really an fml, you were joking about it to her so clearly you dont care that much
plexico 4
Where's Lyrics Boy?!?!?! 867-5309 Come on! At first, it was cute, but then it became annoying. And then it became addictive. Now I see an FML and after the reflective wise-ass comment I usually post, I think what lyrics are going to come up. Some of them are so obvious they jump out at me.
gonzolove 0
I know, ireply_with_lyrics has been slacking lately. The comments just aren't the same.
Intoxicunt 6
Oh, I was thinking Poison's Talk Dirty To Me. I guess a combo would work... But Lyrics guys doesn't know these songs because they aren't ****-ry.
gonzolove 0
Hey, he's working on expanding. I mentioned some songs to him and he seemed very open-minded.
Intoxicunt 6
I know. I mentioned some to him as well. I just think he shouldn't use any more country. Ever. And I've told him this. Too much of a bad thing is horrible, lol. Personally, I would just look up lyrics to songs I don't know, so that I am not limited to my own preferred genre.
gonzolove 0
Maybe he's working day and night to build up a personal database of all possible topics posted on FML and finding all lyrics in all genres that apply and THAT'S why he hasn't been posting recently. I picture empty Hot Pocket wrappers and Red Bull cans piled high around the computer.
Intoxicunt 6
Lol. Gonzolove, your comments are win. You too, Mercy.
gonzolove 0
Intoxicunt, much love to you, pretty lady.
Intoxicunt 6
Thank you, Ms. Awesomeness! :)
gamerjordan 0
U dumb idiot for being a twitter *****
Besker 0
what the hell does Twitter have to do with anything in this post? I think you're smoking too much crack
Zigorathane 0
YDI? You dumb idiot? It's YOU DESERVED IT. Hahah irony.
Belief_fml 0
This sounds like an MLIA.
xxBAMFxx 0
Seriously starchild21? You kinda ripped that trick off a vitamin water bottle... didn't you?
Starchild21 3
Umm no we actually learned about it in Phsycology 120. If you actually decide to go to college you might learn some cool things too. Dumbass
Intoxicunt 6
Yet they didn't teach you to spell 'psychology'? ;)
22jrdn55 15
lmao good point
Starchild21 3
Lol yea yea my mistake. :P Never did like the class anyway
Starchild21 3
Lol I know. :) But you're right to have pointed that out, haha I can't believe I misspelled it. :P I blame your new pics ;)
Intoxicunt 6
UHN TISS UHN TISS. You should see the ones I DIDN'T upload to Myspace. ;) You wouldn't be able to spell your own name (though, admittedly, it isn't the most common name).
pecacelovecheer 0
what a great best friend you have