Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at a party, a fly flew into my mouth. I spat it out, and in an effort to wash my mouth out, I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML
Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML
Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML
Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML
Today, I threw out a bunch of Coca-Cola bottles that had been in my room for who knows how long. My mother noticed them in the recycling and promptly told our neighbours that I have a "coke habit." FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML
Today, as a prank I shook my girlfriend's can of soda. I hadn't noticed that it was already open. FML
Today, I was hanging with my friends when out of the blue, I got thirsty. Friends said there was Gatorade in the fridge. Being the trusting person I am, I took a drink, only to discover it was piss. FML
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Top comments
StayClassy 0
Oh man, I shivered. That is gross.
Peilin 0
disgusting... funny though. ask before you drink lol
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Comments (43)
Peilin 0
disgusting... funny though. ask before you drink lol
StayClassy 0
Oh man, I shivered. That is gross.
lucky_13_fml 0
at least it wasn't a loogie/spit or something.
Mortoli 30
my brother has done this lol.
elguapo_fml 0
a mouthful of fingernails was probably better than the mouthful of saliva you would've gotten anyay... at least you didn't end up swallowing it. why would you even WANT to drink the nasty crap at the end?
alwaysalady 0
don't share drinks with anyone.fingernails are the least of your worries... mono....meningitis....hep...there's cooties in other people's spit.
midnyte 0
Oh, *EW*!
Seegtease 0
Nasty. Kind of your fault, kind of a victim of bad circumstance.
jukeboxhero420 0
That's grosser than gross.
Femanon 0
This is the exact reason you should NEVER EVER share drinks with people. ******* ew...
midnight_fml 0
hahahah hahahah hahahahah hahahha OMG hahahahhahaha