Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend. After telling him how much I loved him, he asked me to marry him. When I said yes and started crying, he said he wasn't sure if he really wants to get married. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious talk. He told me that I was a quick-tempered emotional train wreck. He then said, "You know how we talked about getting married? Now the only way I'd marry you was if hell froze over." He smiled, gave me a kiss, and went to bed. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of 3 years that I wanted to marry him someday. His response was, "Oh, OK, thanks." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage with a back massager, and as a joke I put it up against his butthole. He moaned louder than I've ever heard him moan and begged me to put it back. This can't be a good sign. FML
Today, my boyfriend got on one knee and started talking about how we met. Knowing what was coming, I started tearing up, absolutely sure he was going to propose. Just as I was about to say yes, he quickly stood up and yelled "HAH, JUST KIDDING". FML
Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out, with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming ,"Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML
Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
Today, during dinner, my boyfriend slowly walked up next to me, got on one knee, and in one movement pointed at my feet and shouted, "WHAT ARE THOSE?!" FML
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Top comments
dimerneckel 22
He doesn't want to marry you in the middle of such an amazing massage, that's all
JMichael 26
A friend of mine gave me a massage a couple weeks ago. It was so good and relaxing that I told her if she married me I'd spoil her just for a massage every day.
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Comments (50)
vikky538 29
that message was in his mind unconscious.. it just came out when you hit the spot..good thing now you know the spot you can press it whenever you want ...
mangelon86 15
You've been going out for years. Don't ruin a good thing with marriage. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
schwaka 17
Marriage only ruins things when people get married way too soon, like after 2 months of dating.
stefnewman 9
The way I read this is that OP's boyfriend didn't want to ask her to marry her under those circumstances. He probably said that so she didn't think he was seriously asking her in the middle of the massage.
worldclassrager 41
Time will tell...maybe he didn't want to ruin the surprise
PhantomFollower 20
It seems to me that he thought you were reacting negativly, and covered it awkwardly.
_taco_cat_ 20
Maybe he isn't ready
AloysiusWeasley 15
Ugh, guys are such losers. I'd consider seeing how it goes for the next few weeks. If it's been years and he's still stringing you along, ditch him for someone who cares for you, OP. That's not right to sit there and joke about what the other person really wants, like their feelings aren't worth anything.
KatyLarae 13
If he doesn't want to marry you in the middle of an amazing massage, you may have an issue...
emadrid 0
As a massage therapist I have been asked to marry many people. State law for a therapist is that you may not have any outside of work relationship with any client because of what massage does to the body, it can create cause feelings. It can take 6 months to know if the feeling is genuine.
ChildrenOfFilth 12
Yeah you can't trust us when being pleasured. We'll say pretty much anything to keep it going.