Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend. After telling him how much I loved him, he asked me to marry him. When I said yes and started crying, he said he wasn't sure if he really wants to get married. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious talk. He told me that I was a quick-tempered emotional train wreck. He then said, "You know how we talked about getting married? Now the only way I'd marry you was if hell froze over." He smiled, gave me a kiss, and went to bed. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of 3 years that I wanted to marry him someday. His response was, "Oh, OK, thanks." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage with a back massager, and as a joke I put it up against his butthole. He moaned louder than I've ever heard him moan and begged me to put it back. This can't be a good sign. FML
Today, my boyfriend got on one knee and started talking about how we met. Knowing what was coming, I started tearing up, absolutely sure he was going to propose. Just as I was about to say yes, he quickly stood up and yelled "HAH, JUST KIDDING". FML
Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out, with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming ,"Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML
Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
Today, during dinner, my boyfriend slowly walked up next to me, got on one knee, and in one movement pointed at my feet and shouted, "WHAT ARE THOSE?!" FML
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Top comments
dimerneckel 22
He doesn't want to marry you in the middle of such an amazing massage, that's all
JMichael 26
A friend of mine gave me a massage a couple weeks ago. It was so good and relaxing that I told her if she married me I'd spoil her just for a massage every day.
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Comments (50)
keiNan_fml 35
you shouldn't have stopped there
llamarrama01 21
At least you know it's on his mind :)
KVKdragon 26
I'm sure your BF will ask you to marry him eventually. He just said that while lost in that ecstatic feeling he's getting from your wonderful massage. Don't take what he said so badly :)
RedPillSucks 33
massage-buddy as well as ****-buddy
Pleonasm 36
He didn't want to miss the happy ending.
mullfritt 12
I like turtles
Seashells77 25
I think this would be more of a FML if this was the way he was really going to propose to you.
TheSwegMaster69 11
Just how many ways can "Please marry me" be interpreted exactly?
chrissapp 18
Did you at least keep going?
Grandmastasexy 14
What else could he mean by that?