Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks, "Can I lick your leg?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML
Today, I met this guy I really liked at a party. We got chatting and then hit the dance floor. We had a "moment" and I went in to kiss him. He shot forward with his tongue already out. His eyes were open. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML
Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML
Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
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Top comments
thereitgo 1
that's not that creepy? it's not like the guy who said "Soon your belly will be plump with my seed." licking leads to oral.
disadvantage 0
What's wrong with that? Seems fairly normal.. depending on how far towards the feet he wanted to go. At that point it starts to get weird, IMO. SSC, you're a lame ass. Go get a ******* job or a girlfriend or something. Being the 1st responder on FMyLife is worth absolutely nothing in this life.
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Comments (211)
ultra_marine 0
#8!! HAHAHA i agree. plump with my seed. at least he didn't just do it out of his own free will. he at least had the respect to ask you first :)
Roto13 0
Your life is ****** because you're going to have the most bland sex life in the history of sex lives.
notmuch 0
I don't really see how this is a fml. Are you an amputee, maybe?
jonnymohio 2
Must be a virgin or very near to it. There was absolutely nothing wrong in what he asked or what he wanted to do.
birds_fml 7
That's not even weird or creepy. If you thought this deserved to be on FML, then you're the weirdo. You really need to get out in the world a little more, if a guy asking to lick your leg before sex freaks you out.
rukusrazor 0
Know how the rest would go.. "Aww yeah, now push 'em together baby... I'm a thigh **** ya!, then give you a pearl anklet."
depotst 0
bahahahahahahaha
Zic_fml 7
yeah i kinda agree with you, nr 26.
AnnaSeptic 0
That's not really an FML? Him wanting to lick your leg is unusual, but not creepy or anything.
TeenTiger 0
First haha!! Idiot. Now back to this FML, YDI for being a ***** who brings guys home after knowing them for a few minutes.
wowfmlife 0
Its not a FML but I uess YDI for being a *****