Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML
Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
Today, my insomnia got so bad that I became convinced my husband was having an affair in our bed right next to me. I punched him so hard in the shoulder that he awoke from a sound sleep, farted, and then shook it off and went back to sleep unfazed. I'm so jealous. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
OGReaper 2
Thats what you get.
kickuwithmyfist 1
Access denied
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (136)
Wtfeezy 5
Damn payback is a bitch isn't it??
foolycooly910 5
you should had tried to get frisky before turning him down at least u could of said u tried but since u didnt u deserve that
newburton13 26
Karma is wonderful, isn't it?
ivonacameron 3
LOL! Payback is a bitch!
toddk22 1
hahahaha OWNEDDD karma is a bitchhhhh
fuckmebutdontfml 16
YDI if you have been ignoring him for month's sexually speaking she has the right to do the same to you. What you it has to be on your time???
AloysiusWeasley 15
This. I hate women like this, they give all of us a bad name. It really grinds my gears because I had my ex actually *be* emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive...because he only got it once a day, or every other day. I was his SO, and so it was "my job". The OP is a passive-aggressive *****, and I'm glad her husband stood his ground.
xX_Kai_Xx 3
Bazinga
alicia_was_here 3
Yeah, that's how to make a situation better- 'getting her back' instead of appreciating her attempt. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
cobanjo 2
Hero