Today, I was driving with my boss and she held her breath as we drove past a cell tower, because she didn't want to "breathe in any radiation." I have to take orders from this moron. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, there was a gas leak at work. We called the fire department, who advised us to evacuate the building. We called our manager to let her know, and her response was "Oh, don’t do that." My boss would rather let us die of carbon monoxide exposure than lose out on 3 hours of work. FML
Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML
Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm, and cause cancer. FML
Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML
Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML
Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML
Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML
Today, while sitting next to my mom at a restaurant, she told me to stop moving and making so much noise because, "It's distracting." The noise I was making was me breathing. I'm not even allowed to breathe. Guess I'll die. FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggested she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill herself because of her severe medical condition." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
flipcrazy 0
You laugh now but in a week or two when you grow that third arm and eye, you're gonna be looking real foolish.
Dinger1992 3
You should tell her there's radiation everywhere so she shouldn't breath anymore. That'll solve your problem
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (96)
yenidewi 11
hhahahahahhaha ....
currilc 0
Reply at #10 because I don't know how to on my phone. those oscillations of electromagnetic waves are caused by the stabilizing of those jiggling electrons on it's orbit around an atom. As it stabilizes with the protons, where do you think the energy of the jiggling went? It was emitted as an electromagnetic wave which if observed is seen as a photon. Please look into this stuff and see for yourselves because it is fascinating!
diyos 15
Can you really expect people to take interest in stuff you read and belittle them because they are 'stupid' for not reading it too? She may not know a piece of information but you, you are the real idiot