Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen me up and calm my nerves. I have a 3 hour long meeting soon. FML
Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML
Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML
Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML
Today, I went to the company's health clinic to treat muscle spasms and a possible cracked rib. In the process the old quack doc and overly eager nurses wound up giving me a storng laxative and 3 enemas, two of them quite large. Then I still had to return to work. FML
Today, just like everyday, I opened my med box, took out a blister pack and took one of the pills before putting the pack back in the box. Today, not like everyday, I had diarrhea. Turns out one of the packs was laxatives put in my med box by my boyfriend because they looked the same as my meds. FML
Today, I was tired from an all-nighter I'd pulled because I thought I had the next four days off work. I got called in, and went because I have bills to pay. However, the amount of energy drinks I drank to stay on top of my job duties gave me such bad diarrhea, I had to go home. FML
Today, I accidentally took an Ex Lax instead of an Immodium. It's gonna be a fun night. FML
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Top comments
ribbyc80 0
well, when the chocolate milk starts flowing ur gunna be awake anyway, so mission accomplished...
paras0mnia 3
Didn't your parents teach you not to take candy from strangers? :P
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Comments (119)
invicta8926 0
Payback is a BITCH!
zowieandzander77 1
if you called it "cruising" in front of me I'd try and find a way to ditch you too...
shelbyjoa2011 0
note to self never take something somr one else gives
CasualZombie 6
have we learned nothing from "the hangover"?
redbluegreen 41
Technically, caffeine can be a laxative.
ArielTheMermaid 17
thatll keep ya awake. :D
Alekyork 0
Laugh at your friend for obviously being constipated. O_o
sceneblondie 8
hasn't any one ever told u to never take unknown pills from strangers? lol :P
Jackie_Noff 0
oh my god(: that is so funny! im sorry sweetie!
levin1983 0
ever hear of coffee?
richard121212 0
pin him down and shit on his face. maybe he'll enjoy chocolate milk. (with some clumps)