Today, I was at the local drive-thru with my boyfriend. While we were picking up the food, the asswipe at the window thought it hilarious to copy the scene from "American Beauty" and pretend that we were a couple and that I was cheating on him. My actual boyfriend believed it and won't talk to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend came to my work, at a drive thru, in my car, and then got mad at me because I wouldn't give him free food. In his anger, he put my car in reverse and backed out of line very quickly, only to smash into a paying customer. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML
Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML
Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend on campus. Upset, I decided to go to McDonald's to eat my painful memories away. While in the drive-thru line, I realized my ex was right in front of me. It looked like I'd followed him all the way from campus. He thinks I'm a stalker now. FML
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Top comments
cheesyfeet2001 31
Report then to their manager so they'll see how much they like losing something. Good luck with the relationship OP.
Inkoseh 33
Definitely report to the manager. Although, were you not able to chime in? I would have just asked " What's my name?" " What car do I drive?" Anything that would made him look like a jerk? Your boyfriend though has jealousy or trust issues. Depends on how long you've been together I suppose. Sorry that happened to you!
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Comments (31)
kyu_Q 19
maybe you can send your boyfriend a link to the American beauty scene. hopefully he will at least watch it, since he is not talking to you.
Koizumiii 23
I'm so sorry OP, I hope you guys work it out :(
Scorpio01 16
I'll any day prefer an asswipe with a sense of humor than a scumbag non-trusting SO.
ItsThisGirl 17
That's amazing.
ozzytiff 13
**** that go straight to the manager and then punch him in the mouth.
maelstrom143 1
Your boyfriend believed the drive-through guy? You might want to reconsider that relationship. As to the guy in the drive-thru, I detest practical jokes, especially when one is not a personal friend or familiar enough to take the liberty.