majesticous
Spijkenisse, Netherlands
Today, I dropped a butcher's knife on my knuckle. Five stitches later, I can't even wipe my own butt. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You have two hands, right? Hint: use your non-stitched hand for butt-wiping. Don't forget to use the toilet paper.
dukemisery 18
This is why you should get those fancy Japanese toilets. And why you should be careful near knives.
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Comments (18)
RichardPencil 32
You have two hands, right? Hint: use your non-stitched hand for butt-wiping. Don't forget to use the toilet paper.
majesticous 29
Thanks for the reminder! The tricky part was opening the buttons of the pants and pulling them down one-handed.. I've got the butt-wiping down now :). Also, it's more of a metaphor for being dependent!
Inkoseh 33
Time to order special elastic pants from the internet!
QueenSaru 28
OP, I've broken my thumb AND burnt all ten fingertips before. It really makes you realize how much you use your thumbs/fingertips for when you can't tie laces, undo buttons, etc. XD
RichardPencil 32
Thanks for your reply. I'm very happy you solved the butt-wiping issue. I was getting to the end of the expertise in that matter!
niallo 23
Op as #13 said, you only know how hard it is when you don't have both hands (paraphrase). I'm a left hand amputee and have been through this. You can do this. I have to live this forever, but you will heal. Look to that and don't let it get you down. Life is a learning experience if you let it. You will get passed this, but it will be a lesson you will never forget.
majesticous 29
Wow! I feel sorry for you. I hope ur used to it a little by now.. Good luck, thanks for the kind words!
zedjaleaf1 11
Looks like you're in a *wait for it * Shitty situation.
Lalala579121 28
A shitty situation pun with up votes? What even is this?
hellnosucka 27
it's reverse psychology.
Earths_Venus 25
Dude. Use the other hand.
Moerighan 23
Do you not have two hands?
dukemisery 18
This is why you should get those fancy Japanese toilets. And why you should be careful near knives.
yerawizardlizzy 27
Do you mean a bidet?
Yastafari 16
Dude, use the other hand! I would think that would be a no brained. Unless you only have on then FYL & good luck with clean up!
Mudge 11
at least you still have your fingers
skoepp 3
Ummmmm.....can't use the other hand? Or maybe take a breath and suck it up a bit?
wow2mylife 25
going to get down voted but TWO HANDS
Nickimariek 20
Use your other hand? Lol