Today, I was asked by my mom if I could have a joint birthday party with her dog, because it would be the dog's "Big 1-0." She was completely serious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was supposed to be studying for an important exam. My parents decided to make me go to a surprise birthday party instead. We weren't allowed to leave until the party was over. The party was for the dog. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML
Today, my mom celebrated a year's sobriety by having a couple of beers with her boyfriend. FML
Today, my mom showed up completely hammered to a party I was throwing. The party was to celebrate the ten years that I've been sober. FML
Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "Don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML
Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded, "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded, "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML
Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to bring my obnoxious ex to my birthday party. FML
Today, I asked my mom if I could go to a friend's birthday. She said no, claiming I had been to too many this year already. I'd only been to one. It was my own. FML
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
Today, I had a surprise birthday party for my mom who turned 57. About an hour into the party, I look over at my mom and she was grinding all over my best friend while holding a bottle of tequila in her hand, and a pair of leopard skin panties hanging out of her pants. FML
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Top comments
GenevieveL 0
It's not every day the dog has a milestone like that. :P
danii_s2 0
if it makes u feel better... in dog years, it's his seventieth.
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Comments (43)
PinkDahlia 0
Does your mother have a dog fetish?
namexgoesxhere 0
why would you not share your bday with a dog? that's kinda selfish. what's wrong with celebrating your dog's bday? especial 10. that's old for a dog. that's like not getting your dog a bone for xmas. they're family too ya kno
johngaltmovement 8
FYL. (thinks to herself, why can't the dogs birthday be tommorrow?)
Two liter of coke 8
Dogs are more important though, right?