Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was showing my 4 year old some of my fire magic tricks. I ended up getting 2nd degree burns on my left hand and burnt off half of her hair. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML
Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML
Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML
Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
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Top comments
pianoman05st 0
you don't do a trick like this inside a house glad she's pressing charges
menother 2
This is why you don't learn FIRE tricks from videos online that could easily be doctored. Although you probably need one now. Doesn't it take YEARS of practice for someone to learn this kind of trick in the real world?
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Comments (177)
Namenlos_fml 20
You. Are. A. ******* IDIOT!!!! You're supposed to do that shit outside!! I hope you lose a ton of money in a lawsuit, or get enrolled in a special education class. Either or both fates would be fitting.
abbie14 0
key words "on the internet"
xxxmoneyxxx 0
clearly ur an idiot for breathing fire in her bedroom. I would too press charges.
goddessunleashed 0
Don't play with fire. You might get burned.
toast1b 0
Why couldn't you just diet, and workout and show her your abs. You might of got lucky
TwoFlushTurd 0
Moron
desertRat 3
good you ******* moron
difadam 0
Ever think of showing her outside? dumbass
NeroKR13 0
lol noob
Anteezy 7
Casually mention that you're an alcoholic, and then have an epiphany on the spot on how your alcoholism relates to your stupid behavior.