Today, I walked into my elderly client's home for my first day of work. I was immediately hit in the eye with something small, and had to get medical attention for a scratched cornea. It turns out my client likes to clip his toenails right by his front door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML
Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
Today, I was polishing a ring I made at a jewelry shop I intern at. The ring flicked off my fingers and smashed me in the eye. It only took a single trip to the emergency room to make me pretty sure I won't be getting the job. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
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Top comments
xivoricbutterfly 25
Personal hygiene for the win.
tiernang 21
Sounds like you got off on the wrong foot, OP. Hope he said sorry toe you!
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Comments (74)
WhatsMyNameTho 11
- Keep a better EYE out next time..
ThatSlappinBass 32
Dude, just stop trying D:
LifeAlertTwerk 14
You didn't see that coming!
OhWhoCares 42
Now the OP won't be able to see anything coming :(
charlotte69er 7
Glasses would have helped
redwill85 10
Eyes are the fastest healing part of the body.
damnit1989 16
Muahahahahaha home health is fun, isn't it? Wait til the 80 yo tells you about a certain favorite actor and how they'd like to "hit that".
wafflefriez91 17
Or until a client yells at you for not taking them to the liquor store and starts accusing you of stealing when you would never do that. I hated home health care it sucked.
damnit1989 16
That's too bad that you had that experience. I've had a couple of strange incidences, but never anything that would make me hate home health. Well my last client died and being without work for two and a half months made me want to leave. Again, sorry you had worse experiences. I've heard stories of that kind of stuff, but I've never dealt with it myself.
Entovarian 4
Did you get hazard pay?
tealrobot 15
fyl op. that sounds gross n unhygienic
cryssycakesx3 23
it's never any good when he shoots it in your eye
Neoking 4
Precision toenail. An award should be given to this man for his accuracy.
wafflefriez91 17
I'm guessing you do home health care?