Today, I walked into my elderly client's home for my first day of work. I was immediately hit in the eye with something small, and had to get medical attention for a scratched cornea. It turns out my client likes to clip his toenails right by his front door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML
Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
Today, I was polishing a ring I made at a jewelry shop I intern at. The ring flicked off my fingers and smashed me in the eye. It only took a single trip to the emergency room to make me pretty sure I won't be getting the job. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
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Top comments
xivoricbutterfly 25
Personal hygiene for the win.
tiernang 21
Sounds like you got off on the wrong foot, OP. Hope he said sorry toe you!
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Comments (74)
Dontalktome 9
I hope he said "Surprise, motherf**ker!" in a Sergeant Doakes voice.
jmittz43 6
yes. just yes
Juicenub 25
That guy just nailed his shot
gracefs 11
I mean... At least you don't have to do that for him?
LisaDay 14
maybe he was waiting and threw it at you. and posed like he was clipping them so it would look like an accident....
toaster123 11
this is not possible...
LisaDay 14
it is with proper planning. play some pranks.
Matrixuniverses 13
Headshot!
CasseyWasntHere 10
This comment is perfection
WhatsMyNameTho 11
- Probably should keep a better EYE on him from now on..
WhatsMyNameTho 11
- Should probably keep a better EYE on him..
hellnosucka 27
that guy nailed the bull's eye.
jarobjent 17
That reminds me of that one episode of Hannah Montana. But seriously, that's disgusting OP. I hope your eye doesn't get infected.
hpoxx 10
Definite fyl