Today, I walked into a room where my naked "best friend" had set up a romantic scene and attempted to kiss me. It turns out he believed we were in a relationship for the last year and told our entire school. I am 100% straight. This explains why I haven't been able to get laid in months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I told my best friend that I was gay and that I liked him. Turns out he's very open about the topic. Basically, he kissed me and then slapped me. I don't know what that's supposed to mean. FML
What the frick?
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 2 years and my best friend of 10 years making out in my bedroom. I stared and when they noticed me, my boyfriend didn’t even bat an eye and suggested we have a threesome. My best friend immediately agreed. FML
Amnesiac
Today, my best friend, who I've had serious feelings for for over a year, decided to tell everyone that he hasn't gotten laid in almost two years. When I told him that he was lying, he responded with, "No, I'm not. Who could I possibly have slept with?" We hooked up six months ago. Three times. FML
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
Misunderstanding of the night
Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML
Today, I found that my "lesbian" best friend and roommate is now dating the guy I've been trying to get a date with for weeks. FML
Today, I was at a party. The girl I'm madly in love with referred to me as her 'Gay Friend.' She refused to kiss me in Spin-the-Bottle as 'She didn't want to do anything with anyone that night'. She then made out, and slept with, my 'best friend' whom she had never met before. FML
Self-sabotage
Today, I was hanging out with a guy friend I hadn't seen for ages. The sexual tension was off the charts. We were making out and think were progressing, hands were roaming to both nether regions when I freaked out and blurted out, "But aren't we just friends?" We then sat and watched TV. FML
Confused
Today, I was going to walk up to my crush, kiss him, and tell him how I felt. We are already kind of touchy with each other, so I thought he liked me back. I walked up to him and kissed him. He kissed me back, then gently pushed me away. He quietly whispered, "I'm gay." Then walked away. FML
Top comments
almost_there44 26
How the hell could he assume y'all were dating for a year? Not even a month, but a year? Were there not signs? Did y'all go on "dates?" Did y'all ever kiss? He can't just assume y'all are dating unless he has a reason. Maybe he is mentally unstable.
smc3106 25
100% Strait, George Strait.
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Comments (23)
sharond23 10
am I to believe you're so dim you had no idea how he felt? because if he thought you two were in a relationship it seems like his behavior towards you would have been a clue.
esca6angel 16
either you're sending mixed message or he's delusional. I think I'm leaning on the delusional part.
TheHillfam84 7
So here is your chance to get laid haha
Carlos Gordo 7
This is ******* sad. Still how exactly does that work?