Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon moving towards the counter to pay, I noticed the cashier had what looked like a golf ball stuffed in his cheek. I said to him in a joking manner, "That's a huge pinch of dip!" His reply, "It's mouth cancer." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into a gas station and saw some $.25 gum. It looked good and I thought I had a quarter in my pocket. I found no change in my pocket once I got to the register, so I pulled out my credit card. The cashier laughed a few seconds later when my card was declined for a piece of gum. FML
Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML
Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML
Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML
Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML
Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML
Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML
Today, I bit into a barbecue-ed corn cob, forgetting I had a filling on my chipped front tooth. I re-chipped it. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine check-up, and halfway through the appointment, the dentist exclaimed, "Oops!" Turns out, he accidentally glued my lips together while fixing a tiny chip in my front tooth. I spent the next two hours communicating through exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures. FML
Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML
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Top comments
NoNotTheFace 8
At least you didn't make fun of him badly. It's not like you would know, right? "God must love you. He gave you a third ball."
ThatLooksSticky 16
Well...he probably has mouth cancer because of all the dip he's um, chewed? Sucked? Whatever you do with dip.
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Comments (180)
THE_A_TEEN 28
You people are ****** up, the op couldnt have known the guy have mouth cancer, since so many peoople chew, snuff, dip, or whatever its called. Plus there is a high possibility the op have never seen a case of oral cancer before. Dickwads...
hp693 2
morons the person that deserves to be called an idiot is the guy at the gas station he deserves. op should have just said thats what you ******* getting get and laughed walking out
skyeyez9 25
Cancer sucks. I have always ate healthy, exercise every day, never smoked or drink and I still ended up with cancer in my neck.
MeganCello 8
Cancer really has nothing to do with being healthy, it's a mutation. I hope you're doing well, though. (:
E_ve 9
Damn... I wish you the best of luck in your fight.
sashapoptart 4
OP couldn't have known, and besides it's a gas station. FYL and the gas station guy's life.
marpay 11
So I looked up the causes of oral cancer because I to was curious. Its normally caused by a combination of smoking and drinking in patients over 50. Younger patients are likely to have got it because of hpv strain 16. The unfortunate thing about oral cancer is that it almost never shows any warning signs. So most of the time people won't know they have it till it's spread.
eurostar710 11
Which he probably got from a huge pinch of dip.
squanmonster 8
Oh, Texas
copenhagenman 0
Copenhagen snuff ftw!!
warmiesauce21 1
Nah cope straight ftw
ohmandapants 17
Why would you have even made a comment? I don't understand
DonovanRiddick 6
Hey, you didnt know! :/
perdix 31
"And you're wasting your dying days working in a ******* gas station? What an idiot!"