Today, I waited for 20 minutes to get a cab outside grand central station in New York (it was raining). Finally, to my relief, I found a cab but when I got in I let a little fart slip. Two minutes later the cabby kicked me out of his cab because I stunk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got kicked out of an Uber for "smelling bad." FML
Today, I had a wet fart with liquid in my underwear that I could smell. I let the one guy in front of me take the elevator so he wouldn't smell me. When the next empty elevator showed up, seven people started lining up behind me. FML
Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML
Today, I rode in the cab on the way back to my dorm from the airport. The taxi driver was on the phone and not really paying attention. I paid him and got out of the cab, but he drove away before I could get my luggage out of the trunk. FML
Today, I took a cab ride home from a bar. After a few minutes of horrible driving, I felt sick. The cab driver got so mad she locked me in the car and started driving me to the cops unless I payed her extra. Basically, I paid $120 for a five-minute cab ride. FML
Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML
Today, I halted a cab. It was 12 degrees and snowing outside. When I went to get in, a man shoved me away and I slipped on ice into dirty snow slush, and he stole my cab. As it drove off, the man flipped me off. FML
Today, I was running late for school because I had a huge stomach ache. To save on time, I took a taxi. When the taxi driver hit a bump, I lost control of my bowels and shit myself. Not only do I have to wash my underwear in the sink at school now, but I had to pay the driver extra to remove the smell from his car. FML
Today, my girlfriend let out a vile fart in an Uber. It stank so bad, the driver threatened to kick us out. She blamed it on me and called me a pig. Then, she ripped another one, and he actually did kick us out. She had the nerve to act hurt when I called a second Uber only for myself. FML
Today, I was stuck in a stiflingly hot port-a-potty for 30 minutes with the worst bowel issues ever due to food poisoning. To make things worse, the maintenance guy came two minutes in to drain the thing and had to wait outside till I was done, muttering angrily at me as I took the humiliating walk of shame to my car. FML
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Top comments
badbunny 0
wow, when you stink worse than the cab....bad...
604 11
Did you still have to pay? We're all wondering.
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Comments (51)
jarly 0
Oops I said that twice sry didn't mean to :)
ssnickel 0
Hey I was there yesterday in the rain too trying to get a cab after picking up my friend.
iplayrugby18 11
Since when do little farts smell bad enough to stink up a cab especially when cabs smell bad enough already. I doubt it was little and if your a**hole stinks that bad you should've held it...YDI
SmallTownCutie 0
dude... you have killer abs
fragmite 1
I would've kicked your dirty ass out of my car too.
jobo93 0
how is that possible considering it didnt rain today in new york city?
OLOtheDemigodess 0
*rolls eyes* you can't hold in a fart he wasn't holding it in until he got in the cab when you have to fart, you have to - you can hold it in for a few seconds MAYBE but usually it just comes out no one, not even the Queen, can hold a fart. It's not like vomiting, it's air trying to escape and it doesn't listen to nerve signals, ok?
OLOtheDemigodess 0
for all those ppl saying 'ydi' cuz the op didn't hold it in not even the Queen can hold in a fart it's air trying to escape, it doesn't listen to the human body's nerve signals you can 'hold in' vomit for a few seconds but farting is nigh impossible it's possible to learn to fart without making any sound (I've learnt to do that), but it's impossible to stop the air from escaping by sheer will *rolls eyes*
bds0688 0
Maybe it slipped when the OP was reaching in, lifting up? OP never said "I purposefully let it slip". Are we to assume they did?
UncleDoom 0
YDI for taking 20 minutes to get a cab in NYC. That's ridiculous, especially at GCS
i_is_a_tr00l 0
People can hold in farts. It's not as hard as you think, but some of them are like, "PFFFFFT, Wait, Oh my God. Where did that come from? I didn't mean to do that. v_v," kind of farts. Just saying.