Today, I visited my new doctor for the migraines I've been getting lately. Right from the start, I could have sworn the guy was on drugs. He just listened to my heartbeat, said, "Well Dave, it sounds like gallstones" and said they'll pass naturally. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I visited my new doctor, hoping that he would be able to figure out the cause of the pains I've been having for years. He told me there's nothing he can do, that half the drugs out there cause cancer anyway and that I should look into homeopathy. Great. FML
Today, I saw my doc about the painful swelling I've had in my arm all week. He seemed totally out of it, and ended up telling me it's all in my head, despite the swelling. When I respectfully suggested it might be a blood issue, he just said, "Nah". FML
Today, I went to see a doctor about some of the memory problems I've been having. After the appointment, I could barely remember a thing he told me. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's after over a week of feeling extremely tired and having headaches. His advice? "When I'm tired I drink coffee. You should drink coffee." Somehow, I don't think that was worth $60. FML
Today, I went to the doctor because I felt sick. He told me to describe the symptoms I had. With every new symptom I described, he took a step back. FML
Today, I went to the doctor because I have been getting my period every week and a half and they are ridiculously heavy. He then spent the entire time discussing painkillers (I'm allergic to most) and when I asked to be put on birth control, he said I'd need another appointment for that. FML
Today, I called my insurance company begging for a new doctor. All my current one does is prescribe antidepressants for everything. Migraines? AD! Dizziness? AD! Birth control? AD! I’ve been having rough periods and I’m pretty sure she’s just trying to push pills to bill us more. FML
Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML
Today, after two weeks of migraines, my doctor informed me that bowel movements are one my triggers. This means every time I shit, I will have a headache. FML
Today, it was the day of the doctor's appointment that I've been waiting for for eight months. I woke up with a fever and had to reschedule. The next appointment is next year. Guess I have to put up with my daily migraines until 2021. FML
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Top comments
KittyJay 3
Sounds legit to me O_o
me234 7
Time for a new doctor.
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Comments (139)
sbuxsux11 8
where the hell is doc bastard?
bubbywaldo 0
Up on comment 15!
bubbywaldo 0
Up on comment 15!
hhhwat 0
Self prescribed morphine for your doc eh? Tell him heeds some psychological help maybe.
Ceejay1 13
Painful!
ravenh1979 13
Wow, that's a little scary!
In_some_bullshit 13
Prescribing himself government approved Drugs; "Medicine". He is high, get a new doctor! Sorry OP
mommykrissy_05 7
What an idiot! First of all migraines head,,, gall bladder abdomen. Second gallstones don't pass, at least that's what I was told when i had gallstones 6yrs ago. With gallstones they usually remove your gall bladder since the stones have nowhere to go.
NurseAbi 10
Go and see another dr at the practice, and have a word with the practice manager about the one you saw. that said, most docs I know are as mad as a box of frogs.
23Z9TZO 18
'I'm a certified doctor, you can call me dr phil'
bsmith9942 11
Take it from someone who had their gallbladder removed this morning... They don't pass naturally and a migraine is not one of the symptoms lol you should report the guy to the medical board.
BaconBoy75 2
Well Dave, sounds like you need a new doctor.