Today, I visited my family for spring break because I've been away at college and I haven't seen them since Christmas. Almost as soon as I walked in the door, my mom had me clean the living room area, clean up cat vomit, and do the dishes. Thanks guys... I missed you too. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after a month of living in a pigsty of an apartment with my roommates, I spent the day cleaning the place out. When everyone returned home, instead of thanking me, all they could do was point out the spots I'd missed. FML
Today, I came home from my vacation. My sister had been taking care of my dog and my apartment while I was away. As I walked in, I was greeted by a floor covered in poop and a destroyed couch. FML
Today, I came back from college and visited my parents house. There was a new family portrait hung over the mantel of my parents and 2 sisters. My mom had always wanted one but always postponed it. It was dated the day after I left for college. FML
Today, at home, I always do my share of the chores. I just got back from a business trip and it turns out that I actually do ALL the chores. My wife was alone for 9 days, the kitchen was a in state, dirty laundry everywhere, cat litter box overflowing onto the floor, and the bathroom was fucking disgusting. FML
Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML
Today, while my parents were grocery shopping, I cleaned the kitchen, swept floors, did laundry, and cleaned bathrooms, only to finish right before they got home. After dinner, my dad bitched and complained that I didn't take out the trash and he had no room to throw away his paper plate. FML
Today, my girlfriend returned from a two day trip. I'd spent the time cleaning the house and working on house projects, so she wouldn't come home and be stressed. She got upset when she got home because the house was clean, and it made her feel inadequate. FML
Today, my mom is on vacation and I’m taking care of her pets. I also get to clean the entire house. No, she didn’t ask me to do that. It’s just that I had to hold my breath every time I opened the fridge, and there is no surface clean enough to actually touch, so I simply couldn’t help myself. FML
Today, I came home after a two week vacation to find that my wonderful dog had pooped and peed all over my room. My mother was kind enough to dog-sit; however, instead of helping me by cleaning up the horrid mess, she just left me coupons for Glade plug-in air fresheners. FML
Today, I came home to my family remodeling our (extremely) out of date bathroom. I was SUPER excited to help them get it done. I walked down the hallway and opened my bedroom door to find a huge, gaping hole in my wall and my room covered in dust. I had to sweep every surface in my room. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nutmeg29 0
My mom does the same thing. While I'm away she'll talk about how much she misses me and wants me to come home, and when I do come home she doesn't even wait ten minutes to give me her "to do" list.
lucidlucia 0
never come back. that'll teach um.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (107)
nutmeg29 0
My mom does the same thing. While I'm away she'll talk about how much she misses me and wants me to come home, and when I do come home she doesn't even wait ten minutes to give me her "to do" list.
CharliePoops 0
this isn't an fml...sucks but it's not funny nor catchy, just depressing.
GreenDayRoxs 0
you don't have to listen... :/ confront her about it instead of trying to get sympathy on the Internet.
sabatical 0
you are right, I wasn't modded it just wasn't there for a sec then was again :) *puts foot in mouth*
cabbitt 0
If you don't like it then go back to the university.
KurouTenshi 0
lucky! when I visited my mom and step dad, and tried doing chores to show them I appreciate all the things they've done for me, I got yelled at and called "a guest". i.e., you're a lazy asshole OP. just because you're visiting doesn't mean you can't help out. I mean, I'm sure they DID help pay for college.
nutcrackers 2
I agree with this. ur family just think about you as a family member not a guest.
a_borshunist 0
If OP's parents did pay for his college (lol, college is half the price of university) then YDI. If they paid for him to live elsewhere, then double YDI. If you want to be independent, you have to walk the walk. You can't have mommy and daddy sending you money, doing your laundry, and buying your groceries and claim to be a grown-up.
boatkicker 5
Why are you assuming that OPs parents are paying for college? Plenty of parents don't.
a_borshunist 0
YDI for going to college instead of university. Why would you go away for college? There's like a dozen colleges in every major city (and if you live in some shithole backwater full of inbred pigfuckers instead of a city, YDI even more. Small towns are a waste of space and the people in them are all bigots). University =/= college. Why are Americans so intent on ******* up the English language?
Monikabug 9
^ Do you need to borrow a Midol, sir? I will gladly send one you, you certainly need it.
tarana 0
Actually in the U.S. (not sure how it works elsewhere) a university is a collection of colleges. Typically a student takes most of their classes within one college, so saying they go to "college" is typically used instead of saying "university."
CallMeHush 1
@34 and when you get that Midol, stick it where the sun don't shine.
Monikabug 9
And he doesn't mean the shade! :)
stinkytruck 0
I usually don't care about grammatical errors in a FML post. However, #34 has at least 5 errors and that's after a quick read. I challenge someone to find more.
Maddoctor 10
How has your comment not been moderated yet? FML staff, we have a spill in isle 34 here.
boatkicker 5
Pretty sure 34 is a troll.....
krez 20
In the USA, college and university are synonyms.
Thalymor 0
Actually, they aren't really synonyms. They are used interchangeably, at least in the US, but there are differences. The main one being that universities are larger and contain colleges within them that you have to apply for separately even though you're enrolled in the university. For example, the university I currently attend has a college of education, a college of art, the nursing school. You also have to apply for the School of Computer Science and many other programs the school offers. As for #34, I don't think he understands the idea of colleges or universities. Every city does not have a dozen or so colleges within them. Large cities like Chicago or New York might, but the city I live in, well not a MAJOR city, has 2 colleges, 3 universities and a community college. There isn't anything better about a university than a college except that the university might be more well known. The university I go to might not be better in all aspects than the college my aunt teaches at--it's just bigger and offers more classes and degrees. There are benefits and negatives to any school, I'm sure. Both colleges and universities offer 4 year degrees, and many of both even offer graduate programs as well.
Nena713 0
Well put
confucious 0
boohoo! quit crying. you're lucky you have a place to go.
Reset_Smith 0
Christmas was only three months ago. Get over it, YDI.
boatkicker 5
What does Christmas have to do with anything?