Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML
Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML
Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML
Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year-old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML
Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML
Today, I was hiding Easter eggs around the house when my 7-year-old triplets woke up from their nap and saw me. They quickly realized that I am the Easter Bunny, and then they guessed that I am Santa. Now I have 3 crying second graders. FML
Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML
Today, I had an Easter Egg Hunt in my backyard for my kids. When they collected all the eggs, they opened them and to their dismay there was no candy inside. When I bought them, I thought they already came with candy. It’s been two hours and my kids won’t stop crying. FML
Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML
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Top comments
frank_b102 9
Well that kid definitely deserves a raise in his allowance!
91hayek 31
Well that's one way for the church to market Jesus to kids. Also 3 days to respawn like in video games.
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Comments (60)
briang959 47
No little girl, like a bawss.
lifesentence 11
FYL o.p. but dat dere was funny
Ducklett 11
He'll survive the apocalypse
ckerane 16
awww >.
exo_went_insane 12
You have an awesome kid OP
shady_fox77 13
He's got a point
thewcloner 22
Ur kid wins the internet. All of a sudden i wanna say like a zombie after everything now
feven 32
Haha I'm going to say this at church on sunday.
feven 32
Jesus IS kind of like a zombie
askullnamedbilly 33
Well, he's not wrong. Lighten up, your life is not ****** because your kid made an unintentional zombie joke.