Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML
Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML
Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML
Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has Alzheimer's and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my mum. She kept asking me questions throughout the entire film, and not necessarily about the movie. I lost my cool when she asked me a bit too loudly for comfort if I regretted being dumped my ex. FML
Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
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Top comments
itsalanis 25
I love your grandma.
holagranola 15
Just be glad she didn't strip down and refuse to put her clothes back on.
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Comments (91)
hateevryone 15
Well it couldn't have been a nice movie if they used the word "****".
bestnameright 14
That's why op said"what I THOUGHT was a good movie."
scarface90 8
Some old people are really funny, I remember this old guy in the theatre was laughing everytime the actors said "****" in the movie...it's like he never heard it before
VannahJane 17
Gotta love grandmas!
TheWorldGreatest 8
You have the best grandma ever
calliet145 14
I think a lot of people have an embarrassing story about taking a grandparent or someone to the movies and having it turn out badly. My siblings and I took my great grandmother to see Anchorman when it came out...yeah, that was incredibly awkward, to say the least. Your experience definitely sounds cringe-worthy, OP.
Catkam623 27
Oh please how did she react to the there's a party in my pants and your invited Richard would you like to go to the party in my pants?
calliet145 14
I honestly don't fully remember what her response was because I was only 13 at the time lol. I just remember her being completely appalled afterwards and yelling at my dad later on, "What kind of a movie did your children take me to?!?" Needless to say, we never took her to a movie again, and then made sure movies were going to be appropriate after that.
Catkam623 27
But that was the best part
perdix 31
"No, it means that you are unable to do something, as in, 'Speak up, I **** hear you.'" Or you could say he was referring to the philosopher who wrote "The Critique of Pure Reason."
moodyreallyrocks 27
Emmanuel Kant..
perdix 31
#20, Immanuel, and I was told that his named really should be pronounced "****."
perdix 31
#24, I **** hear you. I have an ear infucktion, but I'm taking penis-cillin for it.
perdix 31
Pro tip: Please, please do not take Grandma to see "Django Unchained." If she asks loudly about the vocabulary in that movie, you could get your asses beaten.
joethebiden 8
Old folks have the best accidental punchlines.
marxistbkly 3
You only think they are "accidental."
PenguinBitch 44
Lets just hope their wasn't a gerontophile in the theater.
PenguinBitch 44
*there
phatdaddy62 23
Lets hope there was and hook Granny up!
Spectre529 12
"Yes. Yes it does indeed mean that, Grandma"