Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, I’m 9 months pregnant. I was in a grocery store when this little hellspawn came tearing ass down the aisle right at me. I instinctively turned to the side to protect my belly, while the brat crashed into my hip and fell backward. His cunt of a mother cussed me out for knocking down her “baby”. FML
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML
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Top comments
omgitsmoe 26
Why did you eat that baby ?
froggyjade 16
3 people? That's one strong 4 year old
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Comments (120)
khaled_almu 13
Okay?
wingedelephants 17
It is shockingly nice that a child so young actually cares about the baby, but otherwise that completely sucks.
TimysterGates 15
He's quite young to have such strong feelings against cannibalism. Maybe his mom ate a baby once claiming to be pregnant. Could be a serious PTSS for your little neighbour!
classiceagle63 16
That must have been a sticky situation since he took it like a baby.
siggy_mcsigx 22
What?
cakefete2 31
Might as well have painted a bullseye with a caption saying "angry thumbs attack here".
underthesea12 24
if you would have eaten him you could have had a 4yo
cakefete2 31
Good way to bypass the "terrible twos".
phoneaddict13 29
hope you and the baby are ok and congratulations!
chromegirl666 7
I'm betting his parents were inventing answers to the where do babies come from question, but at least it backfired in a hilarious way ;)
mollyjynxjax 28
Because a pregnant woman being attacked with a stick is absolutely hilarious...
beanthemouse 13
Ok, this is really funny omg this FML made my day. I just hope the mother apologized and explains to her son the truth and that you really did not swallow a baby. I hope you are OK, FYI.
notesz 21
I feel like this sould need a backup story, no kid would do this without a reason.
mollyjynxjax 28
You obviously haven't spent much time around kids. They're irrational at the best of times.
mkcherry 14
This is why I'm a firm believer in never lying to children. Once they're old enough to ask where babies come from they can probably grasp a very simplified non graphic explanation (a man and a woman do something physical and then a baby grows inside the woman (like a seed growing in the ground)) end of story or something along those lines. A lot of children can not even verbalize things like abuse and assault because we tell them about storks, wee-wees and privates and nonsense instead of using real words.
StzaCrack666 18
it really ***** them up later in life. I cant count the number of sheltered people ive met that thought Hooters was a strip club rather than a restaurant
doodlecloud 27
Agree 100%. These issues are really not a big deal to children, they only seem a big deal because we mix our adult views and fears up in it all...bottom line, if a kid is old enough to ask a question, they're old enough to get a proper answer. Just adjust the level of detail to the age of the child/detail of the question being asked