Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML
Today, I managed to squeeze a testicle between my thigh and a drawer while doing the dishes. From the floor, writhing in pain, I watched my wife laughing hysterically while our two year-old ran up to jump on me. FML
Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML
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Top comments
magenkyo 0
dump the bitch before you loose a ********(s). if she can't take a little joke like that then she is disposable move on to something else
Reyo 2
Wait, why the **** does he deserve it? Are the Femanazis on the rampage again? I just can't see how "kicking you in the nuts and possibly hurting your chances of reproducting" is a logical way of getting back at someone for "touching your back with cold hands". I bet you're the types who think hitting your husband with a frying pan is a valid way of getting back at him for tickling you. OP, go for her left tit when she's asleep. A god old fashioned hammerfist'll do the trick. (now watch this comment get burried.)
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Comments (119)
al8 0
man that really does suck!! maybe you should a girlfriend that doesn't get pissed off so easy!
bds0688 0
Anyone who can't infer that she struck later is a ******* moron. I will guess half the YDI are due to the lack of people's ability to read. The other half is just retarded women. No offense to women, before the crazies get on my case. But if you think that doing something that can and has caused permanent injury is equal to a mild annoyance, get ****** and get a sense of humor. And men aren't ******* about the pain. A good kick to the sack is the worst pain a lot of men will feel. May not last as long as others, but it definitely is intense and extreme enough for those loooong minutes.
rogo0003 0
Owwwwwww
sparkleprincess 0
wow alot of people wrote ydi and im a woman so i feel a need to comment that u didnt deserve that!
canadian1192 2
dude, why do so many people think he deserves a CRUSHED ********. he only touched her, not anything drastic. i would punt her in the boob or something as revenge for sure!
brianr09 0
What the hell? I sneak up and grab my girlfriends boobs with cold hands and she just screams. Its ok though. Im sure she will just try and play it off like... "im on my period, so...." like every other girl does.
ti3n_t 0
Girls just don't understand the pain. How would you feel if I just pushed your father down a canyon and shot your pet dog? Keep that in mind next time you give it a go...
FHS_9th 0
I'm a girl, and I would NEVER kick a guy in the balls unless I was REALLY getting ATTACKED. She's a touchy bitch if she she did this on purpose! Personally, I LIKE cold hands. Somehow, I like EVERYTHING cold. Weather, some foods, blankets I use, and even hands. It's weird, but cold is what is comfortable. But, seriously, why in hell would she think being surprised by cold hands is cause for her to cause you THAT much pain. MAYBE, a punch on the arm, or light elbow to the ribs, but knee to nuts?!?!? UGH, I'm a girl and I just couldn't do that to a guy unless absolutely necessary. It can affect him for life, and it's already cruel WITHOUT the possible "not being able to reproduce" consequences. jeez, she needs anger management classes if this was intended.
helpmeiamblind 0
If I were you, I'd find it funny if she woke up the next day without a kidney... That would teach the stupid C#nt
tankman165 0
dude DROP KIKK THAT HO!!!