Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML
Today, after getting out the car and closing the door, I began walking and slipped on some black ice. In the moment of panic, I grabbed onto my car wing mirror. Luckily, I didn't hit the deck. Unluckily, the wing mirror broke off. FML
Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML
Today, I lost control of my car on a patch of ice and slid off the road, messing up my car. I was working on a news story about bad road conditions. FML
Today, I thought I'd wear my snow boots so I wouldn't slip on the ice at work. I crashed my car because I can't feel the pedals with my boots on. FML
Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML
Today, my car got stuck in a foot of snow. I tried desperately digging around my wheels to see if it would help. I was finally able to get out 10 minutes later only to realize that I had dropped my phone in the snow while I was digging and had run over it. FML
Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss's car. FML
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Top comments
chasing_adalia 0
Okay, let me explain it. The OP started to slip on ice, and tried to prevent herself from falling by grabbing the car. Unfortunately, the hand that was grabbing the car had the car keys in that. This means that the OP, when making grabbing motions, effectively scratched her car with the keys, causing a "keyed car" effect. OP fell and damaged her paint job. And other hemispheres have winter at different times than others, so it's possible for the OP to be somewhere snowy.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Except Iowa is in the northern hemisphere. Lol.
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Comments (71)
yeahyeahyeah28 0
Wow.
dr_house_MD 0
62, i am from america
dr_house_MD 0
62, for your information, i am from missouri so dont jump to conclusions. im simply informing my less-than-intelligent countrymen that there are other nations besides america
peach87 0
Thank GOD some other people noticed this mentions ice in May. Faaake.
dr_house_MD 0
66, how dumb are you. May is late fall-early winter in the the southern hemisphere
candy_babe34 0
#66... you know in the southern hemisphere, seasons are opposite than in the northern hemisphere. go educate yourself.
sarah2144 14
This person lives in Iowa, NOT the southern hemisphere. Look at the bottom of the story, near where her name is. There is no ice on the ground in Iowa in May. I live in Iowa, and there was no ice at all during May. Nor was there ice anywhere else in Iowa. So either this is fake, or the OP was talking about a story that happened months ago, in which case it's not "Today."
XRayeX 0
This is retarded. This person could have made the account today and remembered what happened before. Calm down and stop freaking that the dates are messed up. Take a breather. it was funny
JoHan55_fml 7
you ******* noob, it's called getting 'keyed' not 'key scratched'
JaneSimpleBRM 12
That's okay OP. I'm clumsy too.