Today, my 12-year-old sister, who sometimes has difficulty coming up with the right words while speaking, used the word "intercourse" to replace "encounter". She was joking to my dad that she, "had an 'intercourse' with Bob Dylan." I can't get the image out of my head. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML
Today, my little sister was rhyming words with "truck." When she came to "fuck", I told her never to say that word again because it was bad. She ran around the house screaming it. I'm in trouble for being "a bad influence." FML
Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML
Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML
Today, my sister’s son, who adores me, started calling me, “my funny uncle.” I was later informed this is also a euphemism for an uncle who molested you. I didn't know, and now he won’t stop saying it. FML
Today, while home from college for the weekend, my sister started whining about how I keep using "big fancy college words" and making her feel bad. My sister is 27 and teaches elementary school. The word I used was "ludicrous." FML
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML
Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Today, my older sibling, who sometimes has difficulties accepting how much of a boss I am, convinced themself I that mistook the word "intercourse" for "encounter" while talking about my latest sexual exploit. They're now misrepresenting months of planning and seduction to the FML community. FML
Aethereal 14
Inercourse used to have a much more innocent meaning, though indeed it's not often interpreted that way anymore. Your sister was technically not wrong to have used the word that way, a bit archaic as it is.
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Comments (21)
MrSassypants 34
I thought it was Bob Ross at first, which is even more creepy if you really think about it.
Tripartita 45
"Ah, I see you already have a bush in the corner."
Crazyjohnb 23
"Now what we want is some happy little orgasms"
xTommytheGUNx 15
creepy af
emeraldarcher74 30
"Oh - you're pregnant. Well, we don't call those mistakes. We call them happy accidents."
thatannoyingdude 19
Imagine how your dad must be feel! F his life!
crudeandrudeguy 29
Pshhh. Who hasn't had intercourse with Bob Dylan...
Aethereal 14
Inercourse used to have a much more innocent meaning, though indeed it's not often interpreted that way anymore. Your sister was technically not wrong to have used the word that way, a bit archaic as it is.
buckdharma 38
If that's the case then a had intercourse with lots of women. While holding the door for them, while in line at the supermarket, even if they found me repulsive. Wait, fantasizing counts, right?
Tripartita 45
Today, my older sibling, who sometimes has difficulties accepting how much of a boss I am, convinced themself I that mistook the word "intercourse" for "encounter" while talking about my latest sexual exploit. They're now misrepresenting months of planning and seduction to the FML community. FML
GreedyGreedo 10
What you don't realize is that while you were thinking of sexual intercourse, she was thinking of conversational intercourse, so she quickly corrected herself by saying she had a sexual encounter with him
Im_Elfie 11
Atleast it wasn't Percy Inglis..
great_nate 26
Boo-frickety-hoo! That's your big complaint in life?
brianna1494 27
Great comment Nate.
URBeingLied2 23
Sadly, we will never know what nate said, due to the FML Thought Police.
Fuxxxer 11
I agree with 12