Today, I spent two hours driving all over town looking for a store that sold pumpkins. When I finally found some, I was charged ten dollars per pumpkin. Later, I went to my town's annual Halloween festival and discovered they were giving pumpkins away for free. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I picked up a receipt in a parking lot and noticed someone had spent $437 on decorative gourds. My entire day was ruined by questions that would never be answered. FML
Today, it's Halloween and my boss changed his mind at the last minute, telling us we're no longer allowed to carve pumpkins in our lunch hour because, "It would be too distracting". What are we supposed to do with 12 pumpkins now? FML
Today, I spent over $160 and 2 hours preparing for a Halloween party I was throwing. The only person who showed up was my sister, who helped me decorate. FML
Today, my Halloween costume finally showed up in the mail. Their consolation for a late delivery? A 50 cent discount. FML
Today, I bought fifteen bags of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I sat outside with a bowl of candy the whole night. Only one person came. FML
Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
Today, I walked outside to find someone had egged my house and smashed a pumpkin onto my car. I later discovered that the perpetrator was my own 8 year old son. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to get a bunch of candy for our first Halloween at our new house, so she got $60 worth. We got into an argument about who was going to give it out. It’s now 9 p.m. No one came to our door all night. FML
Today, I excitedly checked the mail to see if my Halloween costume finally arrived. It didn't. I live in an isolated city, so finding a costume by any other means than the Internet was impossible. I spent over $100 for a costume that I won't even get to wear this year. FML
Today, I gave my friend a ride to town so she wouldn't have to pay the $10 to park. While waiting to pick her up, I grabbed a bite to eat. Upon returning to my car, I found a $55 parking ticket on my windshield. FML
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Top comments
qazaq 1
Ydi who buys pumpkins when people leave them out on there porch for free
Naomimi_fml 6
I know right! Why adopt a child when they roam the streets alone on Halloween... for free?!
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Comments (157)
RrubiksCuber 6
First (i had to)
Alexisthebestest 16
You didn't have to.
ohmandapants 17
No you didn't
eeppiicc 8
I hope sirin moderates your comment. And op that just sucks I wish I could find free pumpkins.
qazaq 1
Ydi who buys pumpkins when people leave them out on there porch for free
LiveLaughFML 10
I know right! Who buys Welcome mats when people leave them on their front steps for free?
Naomimi_fml 6
I know right! Why adopt a child when they roam the streets alone on Halloween... for free?!
Epsilonyx 15
**** it, let's all just take everything on Halloween! IT'S ALL FREE!
DrDilllonReese 12
Let's see how much I can fit in my pedo-van!
fanceh 10
^ you mean ice cream truck, right? *winks awkwardly*
DrDilllonReese 12
Of course! What was I saying? *winks slightly more awkwardly and does a cheesy 1980's point with finger*
audreyy062 2
what do the 1980s have to do with a finger point?
EvilPotato 15
I feel scared. Mommy! Help me!
swheat25 5
Pointing is fun. Everything goes with a point.
enonymous 9
I usually grab the pumpkins with the most holes and put them in the microwave for a minute. I love halloween... Kids come to my house willingly, they finally accept my candy too
kelsey_katie 17
25 & 39. I think you just made my day.
blackheart24 10
That's because I smashed them! Muahahaha
fanceh 10
I could imagine someone with the frizzy hair and stuff just like sit back in a chair and nonchalantly point, whatta bamf.
brettlovesgirls 4
We saw each other at a camp thing and things didn't go to well but we were still happy. At the camp thing though afterwards two older guys told her they like her and she freaked out and I told her it's nbd she has me.. She was mad for some reason. Then she had dad problems and I talked her through it but the next night she did it again so I told her to listen to the advice I gave her but she broke up with me.. Then she took me back cuz I 'changed'. Two days later she finds a guy that was nice to her and made her realize that I was mean to her a long time ago.. She breaks up again but were not over each other yet five days later a guy asks her out and she says yes. After a nine month relationship. and so I chewed her out and now I apologized through her home phone cuz her dad blocked my # and she blocked me on fb. Yuuuuppp.
ArentICute 0
Thank you for the relevent story, 129.
ArentICute 0
Thank you for the relevent story, 129.
ArentICute 0
Thank you for the relevent story, 129.
enonymous 9
Mother of God is trademark of enonymous inc.
Michael_Kelso 0
Op shoulda just grown them. That's what I did this year and it was super easy. Plus I made about $30 by selling them to my neighbors. Suckers didn't even know they were filled with nitroglycerin. Hahahaha!
sierralovesyou 0
Such a heartbreaking story.........?
brettlovesgirls 4
I felt like copy+paste, the most efficient way of saving time.
False_Stupidity 42
OMG it's an enonymous clone!... Or evil twin.
gleniatorixx 5
Like a boss. Wait..nevermind.
LaughinStock 16
FML users I need your help because I'm to lazy to research this question. Where did this phrase come from (like a boss)? By the way i think it's overused but that's just me. :)
CryMoreFMLs 15
It would've taken you less time to google that tyen it would hace to type out that comment.
Adman567 9
It came from a song by the lonely island called 'like a boss'
LaughinStock 16
62 this is true :( I'm sorry, but I was hoping a troll could answer it out his/her rage from my question...thank you 64
wannabeperfect1 0
why did u wait the last minute to bye pumpkins??
LiveLaughFML 10
this wouldn't have happened if we used watermelons instead of pumpkins. watermelons are all year round.
Enslaved 38
Watermelon pie? Sounds scary!: P
Turner_22 0
I think it actually sounds good. ^ ^
flockz 20
why are you saying bye to the pumpkins?
HideouslyHuman 10
Well in Florida,pumpkins rot ever so slightly faster than you other places apparantly,I live in Florida aswell and can usually expect the to rot 3-5 days after carving. I could see buying one in advance and not carving though...
xphoebex 5
#7 Why Do You Live In This World!?
iliketurdles 7
Why do you type in caps?
poppylamonzo 0
#7- buy*
XxSKELETOxX 0
Lol
ohmandapants 17
Maybe you shouldn't wait til the last minute to buy pumpkins.. Edit: someone beat me to it
zowieandzander77 1
Yes but you can correctly spell buy...
ohmandapants 17
Sad isn't it?
2ndSucks 15
2 hours looking for a pumpkin? That's kind of ridiculous.
weepingangel_fml 7
FREE PUMPKINS?! I LOVE FREE PUMPKINS! I gotta go get some. BYE!
NoWarranty_fml 14
Free pumpkins, 10$ each Fool-detecting advertising
NoWarranty_fml 14
and how many pumpkins did you buy?
rbr0wn 3
Because grocery stores don't carry them, right?
gleniatorixx 5
Uhm yeah they do. Well some anyways.
rbr0wn 3
That was my point
SirEBC 7
Lol, no it wasn't. You said grocery stores DON'T carry them. The other guy said they DO carry them. Lol.
ohmandapants 17
And you clearly don't understand sarcasm?
NomOnShroomz 14
My sarcasm radar is down. Care to explain?
SirEBC 7
Lol. I wasn't being sarcastic. I was just pointing out that that WASN'T her original point, because she clearly said that grocery stores DO NOT carry pumpkins. Lol. You guys are dumb lol.
ohmandapants 17
I didn't say YOU were sarcastic I said YOU didn't understand sarcasm. And you call other people dumb? Her original point was CLEARLY sarcastic.
pie29302930 0
If you dont understand this the idk how much more stupid you can get. It's clearly sarcastic. Haha
pie29302930 0
If you dont understand this the idk how much more stupid you can get. It's clearly sarcastic. Haha
HideouslyHuman 10
60,either you are wining at being a troll,or failing at everything else.
lylasgurgur 12
Why would you pay ten dollars for pumpkins? Unless they are a special type if pumpkin that's way to expensive..
ohmandapants 17
It's because OP went last minute. They always jack up prices of things last minute because they know people will buy them anyway.
Enslaved 38
I always thought the opposite. They're dirt cheap at my store because they want to get rid of them. After Halloween they're useless except to the ones that know how to make pies, which aren't that many. Most buy them made already (I would think)(:
ohmandapants 17
Well usually prices go down after. Like I go buy Halloween candy after Halloween because it's dirt cheap and useless after Halloween...
Enslaved 38
Haha, I've gone to get 1/2 off Halloween costumes to prepare for next year or role play;) never thought to get candy because I end up with so much anyways. But the pumpkins are super cheap at my stores right now. I can't imagine them being any cheaper other than ex: buy one get 4 free! (:
CryMoreFMLs 15
Roleplay? What? You have some closet secrets I wish to know now.