Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID, and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then went on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML
Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML
Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML
Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML
Today, I went to a club with 6 girls thinking it would be awesome. As soon as we got there, they all said they wanted to go dance and asked if I could watch their purses. FML
Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML
Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number, I said, "Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number." So many girls have given me that number, I've memorized it. FML
Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML
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Top comments
linzhart333 8
wow what the ****? $400??? you're DESPERATE, dude.
jimmythegirl 0
bahahahaha but really why did you spend $400 at a stripclub.............
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Comments (68)
JoeBlandon 0
Tuck back the sack and get to loving.
sparxva 12
You aren't very observant, huh? YDI
fmylife_hardcore 0
NICE! They ARE the generous ones. I mean, next to chubbsies.
MikeLitoris_fml 0
FAIL!!!! well some of them might not be trannys, but you definetly deserve this for not noticing that it was tranny night and then spending 400$
jonny45378 0
You shound have noticed something wrong when "it" said something like "is that a gun in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" XD
Acorn101 2
It??
geovanni 9
with 400$ u could get an awesome gift, give it to a girl and get a real GF
megalan 0
#4 HILARIOUS!!!
Dravien 0
Wow 4 bills in one night that's more than a weeks pay for me.
kandb123 1
HAHAHAHAHAHA
strandedinalimo 0
If it was a strip club didn't they get naked?