Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID, and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then went on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML
Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML
Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML
Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML
Today, I went to a club with 6 girls thinking it would be awesome. As soon as we got there, they all said they wanted to go dance and asked if I could watch their purses. FML
Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML
Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number, I said, "Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number." So many girls have given me that number, I've memorized it. FML
Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
linzhart333 8
wow what the ****? $400??? you're DESPERATE, dude.
jimmythegirl 0
bahahahaha but really why did you spend $400 at a stripclub.............
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (68)
rxxk 0
god...you're...a...dumbass...*slaps face*
Hollydolly 0
you must really need some action :|
Jaina_APO 0
$400?... wow
coolgirl_fml 0
sucksssss...
ducklamp 0
hahah you must be the kind of guy who says, "wow, that girl has a really big adam's apple"
Greenenvy 0
Maybe if you weren't such a pig you'd still have your money and not just thought about boning a bunch of men. Perv.
Tatorrr 0
You failed horribly. I could of bought a pair of True Religion Jeans with that 400 hundred dollar and still have money lefted over.
claireful 4
Yeah! With $400 you could've paid for Tatorr to get a decent dye job! Selfish jerk!
TALZZZ14 11
Claireful's comment is what makes this post
24788 7
I would never touch a tranny. I don't know that's just me though.
Grimmerie 31
That's fine. Us transgender folks would never touch a transphobic bigot like you.
deadlights13 0
One word: Ew
marcus3415 0
27. I seriously just loled.