Today, I spent 2 hours making the perfect card for my dad for Father's Day. When I handed it to him, he smiled and said "Thank you" and then killed a fly with it. I found it in the trash a couple of hours later. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad found the Father's Day present that I spent at least ten hours preparing and decorating. I'd expected him to be extremely happy about this lovely gift. His only reaction was to ask if he could exchange it for something else. FML
Today, a wasp somehow got into my parents' house, so I went hunting for it with my dad. I found it and, after getting into position, took a strong swing at it with a fly swatter. Unfortunately, being very uncoordinated, I missed. You can figure out the rest. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I flew home from college to see my parents. Later I found the expensive painting and hand-made necklace I mailed to my mom for mother's day while taking out the trash. FML
Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole. It was the most bonding experience we have ever had. FML
Today, I asked a coworker what she'd bought her dad for father's day. She said that she got him some flowers, and I laughed because I thought it was a rather feminine gift for a man. I later found out that the flowers were for his grave. FML
Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML
Today, I spent 3 hours making a birthday card for my boyfriend, delicately cutting each letter out of printed coloured paper. He used it as a coffee coaster. FML
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML
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Top comments
89_Sparkly 7
that's so mean!!
YacL 15
I bet if it had a naked chick on it he wouldn't have thrown it away, mind you it'd probably be really awkward.
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Comments (175)
metalhead5564 0
That's good parenting. Not.
stevenmx86 8
Well it's a card not something useful... If you keep them forever they just clutter your house... Shouldn't have wasted so much time on it..
ncolby7 0
obviously it wasn't perfect. try harder next time.
ILEUX 3
kill a roach with his phone and toss the phone into the bin!
lasttoknow 4
goss ur dad and OPs dad are ****** up yo
dabbers23 0
You wrote this at 1337'o clock. Lucky
angryyute 4
WOW. sorry dude. I guess he didn't feel a way about dashing the card away
RebelCandy 0
Hey atleast your father talks to you. Mine doesn't even except my existence.
practicesafesax 0
hey at least your dad accepted the gift you made him. mine wouldn't even look at my gift, which was a decorated t-shirt that I designed and spent hours on... AND a homemade card. now THAT is a FML.
horizonflyer9 0
fyl, fly :(
jayAZ 3
it's not practical to hold on to cards! aak him about it! I am sure you mean more than he shows.