Today, I sneezed without knowing I had a nosebleed. Despite turning my head, a fine blood spray shot out all over my fiancée’s white dress as we were standing at the altar. She refused to say “I do” because she was so mad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, on the drive to church, I got a nosebleed. Not so bad, until I sneezed and splattered myself and my fiancé with blood, snot, and eventually tears. FML
Today, I was a bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding. During the ceremony, I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to stifle it, but when I sneezed, my bouquet flew out of my hands and into the groom’s face. It knocked his glasses off, and everyone was silent until the groom finally said, “Are you implying you oppose our marriage?” FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML
Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, in the middle of asking my girlfriend to marry me, I sneezed so hard that I farted. FML
Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML
Today, after days of nasal congestion, I stifled a sneeze. It went out my nose, blowing out a massive spray of green gunk, streaked with blood. This happened at a meeting, splattering the table in front of me with green bloody mucus. The other attendees looked horrified and one ran to vomit. FML
Today, on my wedding day, when they said, "You may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately, my hands were sweaty as I was nervous, and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML
Today, I had a sneezing fit in the middle of the night, like 10 really great big sneezes, but then it was over and I went back to sleep. I got up this morning and turned the light on, and turns out I’d been sneezing blood over everything, the bed, walls, carpet, furniture, clothes, everything. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
So much for that “in sickness and in health” part.
gramie 8
If you weren't able to actually finish the ceremony, you may have just had the luckiest escape of your life. You could have had a serious health issue, and all she is concerned about is her dress? If you did get married, my condolences!
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Comments (26)
interesting33 37
ouch! I am so sorry OP. I know it is a really important day for both of you and the dress is important. Could they not have got rid of some of the blood with cold water? I feel like her reaction is an overreaction and sucks for you so much! but I am not in her shoes so i have no idea what it might be like. but basically calling off a wedding because of it - seems drastic.
alycion 39
Peroxide would take it right out. The more fresh the stain, the less you have to soak.
gramie 8
If you weren't able to actually finish the ceremony, you may have just had the luckiest escape of your life. You could have had a serious health issue, and all she is concerned about is her dress? If you did get married, my condolences!
TheUnforgiven 8
I understand it's a big day for both of you but if she's overreacting to the point she wouldn't even say I do, you may want to rethink this whole thing OP. Your happiness matters.
RichardPencil 32
So much for that “in sickness and in health” part.
ChakatBlackstar 29
I don't think she has to follow that until after the "I do" part.
adelaine782002 17
I know all too well about that in sickness and health part..my first husband filed for divorce 6 months after I had a severe head injury as a corrections officer
Lillysar91 20
Ouch! Hope the nosebleed was nothing serious! Weddings can be stressful for both parties and she certainly didn’t want the dress ruined. It’s maybe her emotions running high that made her react like that.But certainly the satins can come off iff immediately tended to. Hope she did finally say yes and not call off the wedding for something completely out of your hands.
Mykman 9
wish i would have thought of that at my wedding
dexter420 21
Its a sign. She isnt pure.
AJ1981 12
personally if that happened to me I wouldn't marry her anymore. only thing important at a wedding is love. if her dress is more important than live marriage wouldnt last anyway
PhoenixChick 26
Maybe she didn't say I do not because of the dress mess, but because she suddenly realized she was about to marry an animal who never learned to cover his sneezes. Seriouly, you don't just turn your head and let rip, sneeze into your elbow or something.
lexos 16
Would you sneeze in a expensive wedding suit?
sarsuela 29
Obviously the suit was more expensive than the wedding dress.
blahblabbity 19
...did you not cover your sneeze?