Today, I sent a forward to everyone in my phonebook saying, "HOUSE PARTY-NO PARENTS, LOTS OF ALCOHOL, MAYBE A CHANCE TO HOOK UP." I then got a reply from my mom saying, "I'm probably the only one that would show up." Even my mom thinks I'm a loser, and I'm now grounded for 3 weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML
Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML
Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML
Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML
Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, I was grounded for not agreeing with an article on dating my mom found in a very strict magazine. The article told parents to monitor phone calls, make rumors about their children cheating on people, and not allow their children anywhere but home. FML
Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML
Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML
Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know…" and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML
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Top comments
Dashiell 0
Loser, srsly, who is dumb enough to not realize that they have their parents in their contacts?
Shlizabeth 0
I was gonna put some witty comment, but I realized your mom beat me to it.
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Comments (181)
Klabauterpete 0
How many people do you actually have in your phonebook? YDI
uguysareidiots 0
YDI for trying to act cool and for having no friends. get out more, loser. YDI for thinking someone would actually show up. YDI for not realizing you have your parents phone numbers in your phonebook. dumbass.
anna_bella4657 0
Hahahha, this is just about the funniest thing in the world. I feel sorry for you for having no friends. I feel sorry for you for not having a nicer mother.
Alexgoesfml 3
Exactly, if you are a loser than the reason is probably because you are an idiot.
ughhfml012 0
wow, youre an idiot
FuzzyWalnuts 0
You are such a moron.
talkalot_360 1
Loser!
Casualt1234 0
ydi for using all caps in a text message. stupid.
danceydancetime 0
it's clear from you going "LOTS OF ALCOHOL, MAYBE SEX" that you're a loser maybe sex? thanks for letting us know in advance. ydi, moron
steeeeeve 0
....what everyone else said