Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML
Today, an attractive man hit on me for the first time since I ended my 3-year relationship with my cheating ex. Then the man told me he'd just gotten out of prison last week. FML
Today, I saw my ex asking for change outside a store. I was so shocked and sad to see him in such a position, I offered to take him home with me, let him shower and cook him a good meal. He laughed in my face and said, "Nah, I just do this for some quick bucks. It’s easier than working." FML
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Top comments
L4m3r 3
I'm not one to judge, but you have to admit that such things are part of the risk you take when you sleep with random people. You're not wrong to have sex to your heart's content, but I don't think you have a lot of room to complain about the result, either. I'd recommend going to a clinic ASAP, by the way.
Ineffableturtle 0
no need to judge, and least the sex was good?
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Comments (238)
Kyzomo 0
#2 hahahaahhahahh and #134 ur so right
superson_fml 0
goddmit i am SO JEALOUS you get to tell the ******-a-hobo story and i don't. the closest i have is when that hobo lived in my backyard and didn't tell me about it
dkm26 0
obviously because of aids and all the std's out there its not smart to have sex with someone yu just met. butttt even more importantly why would you want a complete STRANGER to know where yu live- not safe.
MercurialMadness 0
Is "bread and cheese" a euphemism for virginity these days? I bet he stole it. I bet he did, indeed!
twitch26 0
I work at a homeless shelter. Not all hobo's are smelly and mean! But still, have fun getting tested!
Sucks_to_be_you 0
You got your lay, what's the problem? The only real issue here is your stolen snacks, really.
maddog_fml 0
Yuck, you're nasty freak. Get testing. Just like the rest: you didn't smell or see or notice anything??
mastercrammer 0
at least he's attractive! and normal enough for you not to notice anything until he has stolen food from you.
blarg9 0
lol bad but hilarious
bambiNo_fml 0
how is that FYL, you have a house and cheese and bread and he has jack. You should feel good for giving him a bed for the night