Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML
Today, an attractive man hit on me for the first time since I ended my 3-year relationship with my cheating ex. Then the man told me he'd just gotten out of prison last week. FML
Today, I saw my ex asking for change outside a store. I was so shocked and sad to see him in such a position, I offered to take him home with me, let him shower and cook him a good meal. He laughed in my face and said, "Nah, I just do this for some quick bucks. It’s easier than working." FML
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Top comments
L4m3r 3
I'm not one to judge, but you have to admit that such things are part of the risk you take when you sleep with random people. You're not wrong to have sex to your heart's content, but I don't think you have a lot of room to complain about the result, either. I'd recommend going to a clinic ASAP, by the way.
Ineffableturtle 0
no need to judge, and least the sex was good?
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Comments (238)
nodbor 11
look at it this way. you made someone very happy. you gave them shelter for the night, you feed them, and you gave them sex. you are a very nice person that helped their fellowman.
Lazyninja420 0
didn't the hobo smell tip you off to the fact he might be homeless?
mixmastamike 0
Hope you pass your HIV Test!
Aldrasio 0
Best night ever or best night ever?
chel81x1 0
i have one word for u... SCABIES
Nakedsquirrel 5
You gave a bum a reason not to off himself. That sex was probably more therapeutic than any bottle of booze could ever be. What a sweetheart!
hannah5 1
Obviously it's a good idea to get checked out, but I'm not sure why everyone's acting like because you had sex with a random person, who turned out to be homeless, you must automatically have a disease. Has no one heard of condoms? They have quite a good track record, I hear. I have had one night stands, I always use condoms, and I don't have any diseases. As far as the homeless thing goes, I think it's a good story. We don't really get many (any) seductive homeless people round my parts, but he must have been a nice guy or something, so I don't see the homeless thing as a huge deal - it's a FYL because you shagged a homeless guy? He stole BREAD from you; I'd say his life is worse.
TonyTonyTony 0
I hate when people lie on this site. No, its not possible U said TODAY, ... and then you said THE NEXT DAY... STOP RUINING THIS SITE WITH YOUR STUPID LIES TO GET ATTENTION!!!!!!!
youreawhore 0
#130, #131 and #165 As a requirement on this website, anyone that submits a fml has to put 'Today,...' at the front and 'FML.' at the end.
CPTobvious_fml 0
How can you not know the difference between a guy trying to get into a club... and a homeless guy?