Today, I received a letter from an eBay seller for whom I recently left an honest, negative review. I don't know what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn't ready for what spilled out coating my jeans, shoes, and brand new carpet: Glitter. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I received my first negative feedback on my otherwise flawless eBay record. The woman who bought the item said it wasn't as delicious as she was expecting, so there must be something wrong with it. What was I selling? A new and unopened lipstick. FML
Today, I discovered how my ex-girlfriend exacted her revenge. Every item of clothing I own now has sequins. FML
Today, I was helping a friend with a DIY project and thought it would be fun to add some glitter to the mix. We ended up using WAY too much, and now I have glitter everywhere. Not only am I covered head to toe, but I keep finding it in the weirdest places, like inside my shoes, on my phone, and even in my coffee cup. FML
Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML
Today, it was the only time in my life that I have ever received an A+ for something. Thank you, eBay buyer. FML
Today, I sparkled because of this glitter bar my mother got me from Lush. I didn't realize until after I got out of the shower that it wasn't just ordinary soap. I tried to wipe off the glitter. It wouldn't come off. FML
Today, in addition to no smoking and no pets, I now have to add NO FUCKING GLITTER to my Airbnb listing. The last fuckers left my place sparkling like a gang of fairies had an orgy in every goddamn room. FML
Today, I was having a nice conversation with my fiancé when he said out of nowhere, "I sold some of your panties". I thought he was joking so I said I hoped they weren't any of my favorites. He wasn't joking, though, and now some stranger from Craigslist owns my panties. FML
Today, my mom ordered my birthday presents on eBay. Too bad she used my account, so when I went to look for ideas, everything she bought me popped up. It's so much stuff I don't want, need, or will ever use, and it's on my credit card. FML
Today, I got a call from my 14-year-old step-daughter while I was out. She'd left nail polish in her pocket when she'd tried to wash the clothes. I now have hot pink streaks on most of my work clothes. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Millionman24 16
report his account on ebay
JadeOmega 23
I bet you looked fabulous
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (98)
Dawnoftime 12
Can you feel the magic?
friedpwnadge 25
I bet OP will be feeling the magic, all the way through eBay's support system.
KatieKoala 19
Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?
Millionman24 16
report his account on ebay
kyu_Q 19
Report him for Glitter? Wouldn't a vacuum cleanser get it out of the carpet.
Dale_shackleford 13
No. Glitter is a pain to get out of most kinds of carpet.
kirasant 19
Plus he's clearly a moron for putting his name on the letter. I hope he enjoys his ban.
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
How do you know it was a guy?
yellowzinnias 20
Also, Ebay lays out the reasons you are allowed to use a buyer's contact information, and this is NOT one of them. Report him fast and hard.
hmicu 8
Lol you're funny
JadeOmega 23
I bet you looked fabulous
idefka 34
Send him a letter back thanking him for the glitter. Say you needed some for an art project. I would be disappointed id I tried to screw someone over and it made them happy.
mylsux 15
At least it glimmers
crudeandrudeguy 29
Some people take their digital existence way too seriously, and they are normally sad and petty little people like this one. Oh well. FREE GLITTER
exoticwaved_1 2
Well at least they're pushing the envelope ;-)
janderson416 16
Was there an actual letter inside?
mezochan 29
Apparently you're not familiar with the online company that sends glitter to your enemies...
yerawizardlizzy 27
I thought they shut down because they got overwhelmed.
OptimusSlime 23
It was auctioned online and someone else bought
Gohan3117 9
Everything is better with glitter!
Shmatterhorn 38
Not OP's carpet.
Mathalamus 25
That will take years to clean up.
Footballjake15 8
Just Vacuum it
KatieJBabe 27
Have you ever gotten glitter everywhere before? That shit sticks around forever
askullnamedbilly 33
Glitter is also known as craft herpes. Once it infiltrates a house, it's pretty much impossible to get rid of, and has a habit of showing up YEARS later after you'd already forgotten its existence. I moved to my new apartment three years ago, and I just found glitter on the floor that I had spilled in my previous apartment. I have no idea how it got there, but I'm pretty sure those little blue flakes of evil are going to follow me around until I die.