Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea while out dancing with friends. On my way home, I got hit with the urge again. I couldn't find an open toilet and I had to resort to relieving myself in an alley. FML
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling too well. I decided to bring my laptop with me to the bathroom, because I figured I would be in there for a while. Things were going great, until I felt a burp coming. Next thing I know, my computer is covered with puke. FML
Today, I was at a party. A friend and I went to the bathroom together. She finished, I started to go, realising I need to shit. She was still in the room. People began to knock. My brain told me to snap the shit in half… with my hand. I grabbed the toilet paper with said hand, leaving the bathroom covered in shit. FML
Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML
Today, I woke up after going to a rave with some friends. I got very nauseous and sat down behind a garbage bin outside to puke. I sat directly on fresh pee. About an hour later, I sat down on a toilet seat also covered in pee. I forgot to shower when I got home. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
r83839 22
You need to learn to stand your ground instead of giving into peer pressure.
MandyO 15
Your friends owe you a drink...of Pepto-Bismol and Imodium.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (32)
justplainawkwrd 22
For the more obvious part, it would seem like YDI a bit if you knew you weren't feeling well. although I do feel pretty bad for OP. so feel better! sidenote question: Why is the category intimacy instead of health?
lgrim 8
that's just awful.
Bean_pole06 5
That's when you say no, and turn your phone off.
adjwejaelwkdc 21
Sounds like norovirus -- not sure which end to point at the toilet, because both are just as likely to go off at any second. Totally miserable stuff. Tell your friends thanks for taking you out in public where you could spread the illness more effectively.
jstone89 13
YDI.. Learn to say "No thank you." Stay home and take care of yourself when you're not feeling well.
RichardPencil 32
I hope your friends didn't have such a shitty time. You're a good sport!
cheshireau 26
Screw your friends, look after yourself first. You could have gotten sicker.
OhPuhleeze 23
FML for so many people... For you, for your friends, for the people who were waiting to use the washroom, and for the janitor who had to clean it all up... I hope you're better now.
momogal 22
Something similar happened when I was in 10th grade. My choir had a Saturday rehearsal for our charity concert that was mandatory if you wanted to perform. I woke up puking but went anyway. Ten minutes in, I had to jump off the stage, run out the auditorium, and bolt into the ladies room. I ended up puking once in front of the payphones in between the two and then almost crawled to the first toilet to take turns puking and ********. When I was done, I had to call my dad collect to come get me. I was lucky the volunteer choir director was a nurse and knew how to take care of me until my dad got there.
zaidthunder1 27
Somethings off in the Bowels.