Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I realized that the only male that has ever been in bed with me has been my cat. FML
Good boy, best boy
Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML
Never enough
Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML
Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me. Turns out my ass is big enough for my 13 year old cat to walk around in circles, wash itself, stretch and sleep. FML
Sorry little buddy
Today, my cat sat on me, 30 minutes before I had to go to work. When I picked him up almost immediately after he got comfortable so I could get ready, he looked and sounded absolutely crushed. FML
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Surprise, human!
Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML
Top comments
skyeyez9 25
i assume your cat is allowed to roam outside. It is in yours and the cat's best interest to get the feline spayed. unless you want a suprise kitten litter.
skyeyez9 25
in your defense, when certain animals are in heat, they literally turn irresistable to males. human females dont have that.
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Comments (54)
unilpentium 0
Hi everyone. I have committed myself to waging war agains FML's massive overusage and misusage of the words "realized," "noticed," "discovered," and "learned." Here are some synonyms you can use instead: Detected, discerned, distinguished, picked up on, recognized, saw, spotted, observed, became concious of, comprehended, grasped, knew, took in, understood, attained, ascertained, came across, contrived, determined, disclosed, identified, perceived, revealed, and unearthed. Please, bring linguistic diversity to FML.
xomollziexo17 1
ummmm eww....?
SpazzyJazzy325 0
horny kitty O.o
bangingher9101 0
cats got WHEELZ
getupstandup_fml 2
FYL. You have nine fewer than your cat.
ExNL_WaRRioR 0
Then get off your ass.
drayloon 50
your pussy gets more pussy than your pussy.
veto15 0
Now thats a slutty pussy
kylec1213 5
-Realizes cat was neutered
zeekitty 5
Neuter your cat dipshit!