Today, I realized that my baby stops crying loudly whenever I turn on the vacuum cleaner. I'm either stuck with a fussy baby all day, or the roaring sound of a vacuum cleaner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML
Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, I tried out my new noise-canceling headphones while vacuuming my house. They worked so well that I didn't hear the vacuum stop when the plug fell out of the outlet. I accidentally had the vacuum off the entire time. FML
Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate vacuuming at 7 a.m. I was annoyed because I had stayed up late, but then I realized she was vacuuming in the kitchen… at 7 a.m. because the broom "wasn't powerful enough." I gave her the benefit of the doubt until she started vacuuming my bedroom floor while I was still in bed. FML
Today, I asked Alexa to turn on my baby's white noise machine. Instead, she started playing Pharrell Williams's "Happy" while the baby was asleep. FML
Today, while eating breakfast in a hotel lobby, the woman next to me started playing an obnoxious clip of a baby’s high-pitched crying. The worst part is that my parents refused to let me do anything about it or step away from the loud noise, as they thought it would “embarrass the whole family.” FML
Today, at 2:30am, I heard my baby crying on the monitor. As I got out of bed, she stopped crying and started laughing. There's nobody else in the house. FML
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Top comments
waveman56 3
Did you consider that the baby doesnt stop crying, you just can't here it over the vacuum
cc1992 11
Haha that sucks! I can't stand the sound of babies crying, it's annoying! But then the vacuum is a pretty annoying sound too. Couldn't you find something else to entertain the baby?
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Comments (176)
iRobynM 0
the sound of the vauum probably just scares your baby shitless so it stops crying
lawlren 0
Here's an idea: Don't have a ******* baby. You should have thought about them crying, ********, tearing up your stuff, wasting all of your time, spilling things every where, and just making life shitty in general when you got pregnant.
stephen_lee 4
aren't you a bundle of joy
Hopersz 0
HERES AND IDEA FOR YOU ASSHOLE: 130#STOP BEING THE ******** ASSHOLE LOWLIFE YOU ARE. STOP DOWNGRADING WOMEN AND LEARN TO LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE. BE LUCKY I DONT KNOW YOU. IF I DID I WOULD BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUTTA YOU TILL YOU TURNED BLACK AND BLUE. MY ADVICE TO YOU #130 STFU AND STOP BEING SUCH AN ASSHOLE. LITERALLY. GO **** OFF OR MAKE SOMETHING OF YOUR LIFE USEFUL.
theanonimouse 0
Um... how exactly was lawlren "DOWNGRADING WOMEN," if I may ask?
ivyshade 0
really?!?! welcome to parenthood!!! ydi
akaOtter 1
wow, so many judgemental people out there. sucks for sure to have to choose one vs other, but really no choice as only one annoying noise actually has a happy kid associated with it. I second the thought of recording the sound and playing it reasonably quietly in their room. I love how some proletariat w/o kids are so harsh. it's not like you can explain to the baby that the crying is loud or have them tell you what's wrong. plus peole don't understand that maybe it's the kids nap time, and they def. need their slee.
Hopersz 0
My godson is the same way. He is 1 yrs old and he loves the Vacuum. Why you may ask? I have no freaking clue but i think it has something to do with the sound it makes.
theanonimouse 0
Really, the sound? You don't think it might be the smell of the vacuum?
tj79 3
number 3 is smart
atticuz 2
A continuous sound is more soothing to the ear than an alternating sound, like the baby's.
FyourLIFEdotCOM8 0
atleast the house will always be clean. and you could record the sound and play it in her room and just wear headphones.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
92: Me too! That thing was so evil! I remember visiting my grandma's house after seeing that movie, and she had one of those old-fashioned vacuums. I was creeped out!
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
106/roho: My babies love the vacuum too. But they're ferrets, so they just dance with it and try to wrestle it >.< Good thing I have the bagless kind! *Apologies in advance if this double-posts*