Today, I realized that my baby stops crying loudly whenever I turn on the vacuum cleaner. I'm either stuck with a fussy baby all day, or the roaring sound of a vacuum cleaner. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML
Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, I tried out my new noise-canceling headphones while vacuuming my house. They worked so well that I didn't hear the vacuum stop when the plug fell out of the outlet. I accidentally had the vacuum off the entire time. FML
Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate vacuuming at 7 a.m. I was annoyed because I had stayed up late, but then I realized she was vacuuming in the kitchen… at 7 a.m. because the broom "wasn't powerful enough." I gave her the benefit of the doubt until she started vacuuming my bedroom floor while I was still in bed. FML
Today, I asked Alexa to turn on my baby's white noise machine. Instead, she started playing Pharrell Williams's "Happy" while the baby was asleep. FML
Today, while eating breakfast in a hotel lobby, the woman next to me started playing an obnoxious clip of a baby’s high-pitched crying. The worst part is that my parents refused to let me do anything about it or step away from the loud noise, as they thought it would “embarrass the whole family.” FML
Today, at 2:30am, I heard my baby crying on the monitor. As I got out of bed, she stopped crying and started laughing. There's nobody else in the house. FML
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Top comments
waveman56 3
Did you consider that the baby doesnt stop crying, you just can't here it over the vacuum
cc1992 11
Haha that sucks! I can't stand the sound of babies crying, it's annoying! But then the vacuum is a pretty annoying sound too. Couldn't you find something else to entertain the baby?
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Comments (176)
tacoking5000 0
solution= suck up the baby with the vac
ohmywows 0
no just record that sound and then put it on an iPod and whenever the baby starts crying put the headphones in it's ears and let it listen!
ezeil907 0
^^^ this is a sound solution
nebneb123456 0
or you could, you know, TAKE CARE OF YOUR KID
TheOriginalKyrs 0
if it's collicky there isn't much you can do.
cals 0
i've known a few babies to like the vacuum. OP, you could try recording and putting it on a CD player.
EcstacyVonVanity 0
Comment! Whoo! And I was like that too.
cc1992 11
Haha that sucks! I can't stand the sound of babies crying, it's annoying! But then the vacuum is a pretty annoying sound too. Couldn't you find something else to entertain the baby?
vaebouria 0
like ****! that is entertaining.
cc1992 11
Not sure that's really appropriate for a baby though lol.
cc1992 11
Haha, that's genius ohmywows!
JaimeWorth89 3
you might try setting your baby on topnof the dryer...babies tend to like vibrations and noise from that and the vacuum cleaner
waveman56 3
Did you consider that the baby doesnt stop crying, you just can't here it over the vacuum
teebone621 0
that sounds like a big possibility
jgilez 0
genius
w00ble 0
It's not a FML it's science... http://www.colic-baby-bootcamp.com/whitenoise.php
cc1992 11
Wow, that's interesting, makes sense that the baby likes it then!
MysticAngel 0
It makes sense.