rainydays79
United States
Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Cheyenne
United States
Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML
Anonymous
Getting on
Today, I’m at the stage of my life where a normal bowel movement is practically a cause for celebration. FML
shroooms
Slovenia
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
jill
Eww, roommate from hell
Today, I discovered that when I sleep, I go to the bathroom to poop and don’t flush the toilet. I live with three roommates who all wake up before I do. FML
leaflady03
Famous for something
Today, my mom won’t stop calling up all her friends and family and even telling complete strangers about my "bowel problems." Even at parties, she talks about my pooping habits every chance she gets. This isn’t what I want to be known for. FML
Anonymous
Los Angeles, United States
Phantom pooper
Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML
Anonymous
Shreveport, United States
Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML
Anonymous
United States
Two speeds
Today, I've realized that I have two modes: Constipated, or ultra explosive diarrhea. FML
lizbeth
Anaconda
Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML
public pooper
United States
Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML
Top comments
Seventytimeseven 0
Among your group of friends? You really think your soloness is exclusive to that group? I think you're probably just straight up alone there
intensitive 11
Do you cry after flushing away your friends?
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Comments (146)
mps1969 8
I like to think I speak for us all when I say what are their names ? Lets hear what you name you brown friends from dumpville .
VanessaVander 2
WTF that's retarded. get a life
grarox 0
that's because ur a loner
VanessaVander 2
WTF who names the ***** that come out of them? u r the only person in the world who does that
McMan 23
@29 Yep
Twi_lover_EC 6
r u on f-ing drugs? That is one of the wierdest things I've heard. ANd I have heard pleanty of wierd things.
thatguy626 0
awful
containsnosoy 0
Are you trying to get sympathy on FML for doing something that you might be the only one doing because it's completely weird?
mrlopez 13
You ever heard of reality check? Sometimes people do stop by and smell the cra... I mean roses.
aback 5
Why the hell do you need to name them? So they'll come when you call them? Do you keep them around that long?
shananigans 0
Sooo... What'd they say when you told them that you name your BMs??
Nakedsquirrel 5
How the **** does this even make its way into a conversation? You also talk to your dumps while squeezing them out, don't you? "Is it a boy or a girl?? Ooh I can't wait! If it's a boy I'm going to name it Chester! Nnnnnnrrrrgh it sure feels like a boy! C'mon Chester!"
willieboy1212 0
hahahahaha. brilliant, nakedsquirrel. hahaha. so weird btw. how old are you, shit-namer?