Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML
Getting on
Today, I’m at the stage of my life where a normal bowel movement is practically a cause for celebration. FML
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Eww, roommate from hell
Today, I discovered that when I sleep, I go to the bathroom to poop and don’t flush the toilet. I live with three roommates who all wake up before I do. FML
Famous for something
Today, my mom won’t stop calling up all her friends and family and even telling complete strangers about my "bowel problems." Even at parties, she talks about my pooping habits every chance she gets. This isn’t what I want to be known for. FML
Phantom pooper
Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML
Two speeds
Today, I've realized that I have two modes: Constipated, or ultra explosive diarrhea. FML
Anaconda
Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML
Top comments
Seventytimeseven 0
Among your group of friends? You really think your soloness is exclusive to that group? I think you're probably just straight up alone there
intensitive 11
Do you cry after flushing away your friends?
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Comments (146)
ctgirl12345 0
omg that us disgusting!!
quraishakrueger 4
oh look tom just came out! bye tom!
MF12 0
you thought other people named their "bowel movements"?
teacher411 0
And probably the only one in this world...
faramir2007 0
I name all my bowel movements after ex-girlfriends.
pipp360 0
**** you
stormin972 0
I'm dropping the Cosby kids off at the pool as we speak. I don't name each one though.
wellinever 5
That is so funny. Shame you didn't tell us what the names are. You do realise the next level is to give them each a page on Facebook.
tdawgheath 0
Or just post "just finished the green monster" as your status
Brey1013 0
uhm i think you might be unique not only within your "group of friends" (which i suspect are the named bowel movements) but within the human race.
blingblingbling 0
Erm, how is this even an FML?